Theater Whore: Fate Of The Furious

Fate Of The Furious 9/10

There will be spoilers. This morning I headed to The Arclight (The Dome really) and checked out Fate Of The Furious. I hadn't been in that part of the theater in a long ass time. I have really liked this movies since the fifth one (click here, here, and here for previous reviews of the Furious films) and was looking forward to this one so much. I saw a submarine in the trailer and said fuck everything. I have to see this as soon as it comes out. The entire cast is back for this one as well as some surprises and great additions. Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, the lovely Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese, Ludacris, hot ass Nathalie Emmanuel, Kurt Russell, too handsome Scott Eastwood shows up, and magical beam of light Charlize Theron is the newest villain and by god she is evil as fuck!

Theater Whore: Furious 7

Furious 7 – 8/10

This will have spoilers. KP and I decided that we needed to watch Furious 7 yesterday. First we watched Fast & Furious 6 right before heading out because she hadn't seen it before. We went to the Arclight and got the party started. This movie picks up right after the last one left off where the Asian dude got killed by Jason Statham in Tokyo and he called Vin Diesel and told him that he was coming for him. Turns out that Statham and the bad guy from the last film are brothers. Then the movie moves backwards a tiny bit. Paul Walker is getting used to being home and not dodging bullets while Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez struggle with her memory problems. After winning a race she starts acting all weird and runs away.

Jordana Brewster tells Diesel that she is pregnant but hasn't told Walker yet because she knows he hates being normal. Then they get a package from Japan that blows up their entire damned house. 

Theater Whore: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians Of The Galaxy 10/10

How did this happen?! I remember when I heard they were making a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie and I laughed. I thought that Marvel was scraping the bottom of the barrel with their movies. How could they possibly make a movie where the only character I know even vaguely is Rocket Raccoon and have it make any money or anyone give a damn? Turns out that not only did they make an incredibly entertaining movie, they made the best Marvel film to date. This was hands down better than any superhero team that has ever been made. I know that I'm talking it up pretty big but that's because its true.

This will contain some spoilers.

Theater Whore: Fast & Furious 6

You know the best part of Fast & Furious 6? When cars go fast and things explode. You know what I don’t like? When Paul Walker is allowed to speak for a few seconds. Out of the six films that have been released (so far) there have been three that are worth watching again. You make any references to Tokyo Drift and my eyes will start to cross. Maybe that’s why I don’t give a damn about the Japanese dude. I really hope he got started in that one otherwise I’m just being an asshole. These films are not heavy on plot and when they try its almost cute like “Aw, you’re trying to be a story” and you kiss it on top of the head…then it explodes. 

Everyone you care about it back. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Vin Diesel, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, and the rest. Oh, Gina Carano joins the crew and Michelle Rodriguez returns from the dead. Paul Walker who has one acting setting and his wife Jordana Brewster who has two have a kid who will hopefully have three are living the life of escaped convicts. They have money and no worries. Vin Diesel and his lady from the last film are good as well. Then one day The Rock shows up and he’s all like “I have more muscles than flesh. Your girlfriend you thought was dead is alive. Help us catch her and this crew she is working with and we’ll let you all get back into America with no charges against you.” I was like, really?! Can you do that?!