Theater Whore: Deadpool

Deadpool 10/10

There will be some spoilers. I went to see Deadpool this morning. Yes. This morning. I went to the 10am showing at The Arclight over on Sunset. Could I have waited until later in the day? Or the weekend? No! Sunday they are doing that damned marathon and since it is Valentine's Day I'll be here spending the day with the woman I am deeply in love with. Kidding! I'm barely loved by folks. This movies stars Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool/Wade Wilson, Morena Baccarin as Vanessa, Ed Skrein as Ajax, T. J. Miller as Weasel , Gina Carano as Angel Dust, Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Stefan Kapičić as Colossus, and Leslie Uggams as Blind Al.

Theater Whore: Fast & Furious 6

You know the best part of Fast & Furious 6? When cars go fast and things explode. You know what I don’t like? When Paul Walker is allowed to speak for a few seconds. Out of the six films that have been released (so far) there have been three that are worth watching again. You make any references to Tokyo Drift and my eyes will start to cross. Maybe that’s why I don’t give a damn about the Japanese dude. I really hope he got started in that one otherwise I’m just being an asshole. These films are not heavy on plot and when they try its almost cute like “Aw, you’re trying to be a story” and you kiss it on top of the head…then it explodes. 

Everyone you care about it back. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Vin Diesel, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, and the rest. Oh, Gina Carano joins the crew and Michelle Rodriguez returns from the dead. Paul Walker who has one acting setting and his wife Jordana Brewster who has two have a kid who will hopefully have three are living the life of escaped convicts. They have money and no worries. Vin Diesel and his lady from the last film are good as well. Then one day The Rock shows up and he’s all like “I have more muscles than flesh. Your girlfriend you thought was dead is alive. Help us catch her and this crew she is working with and we’ll let you all get back into America with no charges against you.” I was like, really?! Can you do that?! 

"Bad Mamma Jamma": Gina Carano

“When I first came into this sport I was looking around for somebody who had come in before me and had paved the way, and I just didn’t see it at that time. I figured I would do it how I wanted to do it.” Gina Carano

You ever want to bone someone but the fear of being cock punched kept you from speaking to a woman? I do. All the time. But specifically with this weeks Bad Mamma Jamma Gina Carano. She is a MMA (mixed martial arts not monkeys munching apples) fighter and could kill you twice before you hit the ground. Even when she is fighting and has her hair all prison style she still looks hot. There’s only three fighters that are fuckable and I only know two of their names. She looks better than the ring girls. My dick is shoot afraid of her. If she even looked at me sideways I would have two belly buttons.