Yesterday
my cousin Mala brought me some dinner after I had a root canal
because she is awesome. I was flipping through Amazon trying to find
something to watch and we stumbled upon Tyler Perry's movie Single
Mom's Club. Now...come on. I am not a fan of this guy and a lot of it
is due to the fact that he has one note and every guy in his movies
looks better than I ever will. Yeah. I'm not using a single image of
any of them in this review. Deal with it. I'm also not saying the
name of any of the actresses because in this movie they are types.
This
is about five different mothers that are single dealing with their
kids that all go to the same school. They were all busted smoking
cigarettes and tagging on walls. The mothers are forced to work
together to plan something for the school or have their kids booted.
There is plain mother. Okay, fuck it. I gotta use their names. Nia Long plays Plain Mother. She is a writer because why not. Tyler Perry
is trying to bang her in this with his creepy beard. Her son is an
asshole that needed a good throat punch because he took every
opportunity to point out that he was going to live with his dad.
Little does he know his daddy is a crackhead now that would later
jack his own son. Whah-whah...
Wendi
McLendon-Covey is in this and way thinner than I have ever seen her.
She is Business Mom. She is more concerned with success and making
her daughter like her than caring about having a kid. She got her
daughter from a sperm donor. Her daughter hates her. Business Mom is
as close to racist as you can come and never got punched for the shit
she said. No one is after her sexually. Amy Smart plays herself as Overwhelmed
Mom. She has three kids and since her maid handled everything she has
no relationship with her daughter. The maid even helped her use a
tampon. A tampon!!! She is wanted by Creative Guy.
There
is Latina Mother as well played by Zunay Henao. She did not belong her. Her problem was
that her ex husband paid for all her shit and told her that if she
ever dated again he'd stop paying for her life. Her new man hates
that he has to hide and keep their relationship secret. She is the
only one getting laid in this and is struggling in no way. Sexy Giant
Cuban Man has her. Last is Black Mama played by Cocoa Brown. She has two sons in jail, two
daughters, and a smart son that she doesn't want to end up like his
brothers. Black Mama uses slang I have not heard since 1989. She is
being pursued by Terry Crews.
This
movie was pretty bad an predictable but funny if you enjoy talking
during a movie. And it is almost two hours long which is ridiculous.
The only drama is when Plain Mother's son leaves during a sleepover
and they can't find him because he was busy being jacked by his dad.
I won't tell you to see this, but I also won't won't tell you not to.
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