Wednesday, July 16, 2014

DVDiculous: Night Watch/Day Watch

There is this series of movies that I thought I'd seen (at least one of them) but it turns out I had seen a scene from it. The first is called Night Watch. This is about a...okay. I just finished reading the book two weeks ago after watching the movie so it is kinda hard not to mix up the truth of the book and the stuff from the movie, but I'll try. It starts off with these warriors (knights) fighting back in the day. They are called Others. One side fights Light and the others Darkness. After a huge battle they decide that they need to cute this shit out or they will all die. Now humanity is allowed to choose to be bad or not. Uh...yeah.

The main guy Anton played by Konstantin Khabensky goes to visit a witch to get his girlfriend back. He tells her that she will miscarry and come back to him. He's kinda hesitant (by the way, this does happen in the book but not to Anton whatsoever and its actually in the second book and now I will try not to bring the books up again) but just as he is about to go through with it the Night Watch show up and stop the witch and arrest her. This is what the Night Watch does. Makes sure people don't practice magic illegally. Its 12 years later and Anton is working with the good guys.

The story starts to spiral out of control after this. He is tyring to help this woman who has a curse on herself. There's this little kid who is going to the bad side maybe but would really help the good that turns out to be Anton's son that wasn't aborted (again...not in the book!). They make it where this is all about vampire hunting and Anton drinks blood when he hunts vampires or pigs blood if he really has to. Don't believe what this movie tells you. The Night Watch have no vampires on their teams ever. Vampires are looked down on like crazy. So yeah. If I had written this review before reading the books I would've given this movie a far more glowing review. But I can't unread it.

Oh, my lord. This movie confused the hell out of me. Yes, I read the book last week but since this movie has nothing at all to do with the book I don't even need to being it up again. This is actually one of the three stories from the first book and has nothing to do with the actual Day Watch story which is the conflict from the Day Watch point of view which is awesome. In this his son is a bad guy after the last movie and the cursed chick is working for the Night Watch. Anton spends his time covering up crimes committed by his son which leaves the Night Watch looking like asses.

There is a Chalk of Fate that the bad guys want. When you use it you can change the fate of someone who will have an impact on the world, good or bad. The main bad guy, Zavulon, ends up letting Anton take the fall for protecting his sons crimes. The Inquisition (team of Others that sentence each side of the Watch) are gonna get Anton but he changes bodies with this chick Olga who was a powerful sorceress that was turned into an owl. No explanation is given in this movie.

This movie confused the fuck out of me. I had watched the first movie and this one the next day and I felt like I was missing a film in between that didn't exist. There's a chick racing up a building to get inside, a long ass party scene that does nothing to progress the story, and just a jumble of special effects that are meant to look cool but just slows the story down over this over two hours movie. Don't bother watching this movie ever. The first one is cool, especially if you haven't read the book.

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