Theater Whore: Lucy

Lucy 2/10

(heavy sigh) It sucks to have to talk about how shitty Lucy was. It has Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, and was directed by Luc Besson. That seems like it would be a great combination. But when you take into account that the more powerful the main character gets the least interesting she becomes it's a recipe for disaster. I was really looking forward to this movie but less than halfway through this I was ready to leave which is bad considering this movie is less than 90 minutes long.

Lucy is a young chick living in Taiwan that likes to party. That is all the character development you're gonna get from me and this movie regarding her. Some guy she is dating handcuffs her to a briefcase and she has to give it to this guy named Mr. Jang. They knock her out a couple of times and put a bag of drugs inside of her. It is called CPH4. A few other people get the same treatment but they seem more okay with it than she is. She wakes up and gets her ass kicked because she didn't want a guy touching her boobs. The drugs pop, she goes full Exorcist all over the room, kills a bunch of guys, gets a cab, and goes to talk to Freeman's character Professor Samuel Norman.

Interspersed through this movie were speeches by Norman. He is giving a lecture about human brains and potential. He keeps saying that humans use just 10% of our brains and dolphins use 20% and they kick ass. Humans use 20% when we are dreaming. The movie doesn't say that. A quick Google search does. Anyway, she shows him that she is becoming powerful and she will die in less than a day. She finds the guy that ordered the drugs in her and kills everyone but him because plot. She becomes stronger and less fun to watch. 

The rest of the movie is action that isn't even interesting because Lucy is so powerful, smart, and fast that there is absolutely no sense of danger. None! There is nothing like a high speed chase with no sense of death. She can walk into a room and stop everyone by waving her hand. The last 15 minutes had me asking “Are you fucking kidding me?” Remember how you felt watching Contact and she went across the universe and saw her dad? It was kinda like that where you roll your eyes so hard it hurts. Just watch this on cable next year. It is not worth paying for. And I gave it a 2 instead of a 1 because I saw Scarlett in a bra and it made me smile.

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Here is a list of movies you should watch that did Lucy better than Lucy. Chronicle (incredible), Limitless (which I didn't like but is watchable), The Matrix, Powder, Source Code (great film that no one watched), Transcendence (fucking horrible but very similar to this), Unbreakable, Looper (ugh...), and Akira.