Perving On Scarlett Johansson

After discovering that Crystal Beth from Tha O Show shares my love of seeing Scarlett Johansson in tight black outfits I felt that I needed to write a blog about it. For those of you that have no desire to hear me babble on about how great she looks in The Avengers you should probably stop reading.

Still here?

Pervert. Oh, don’t feel ashamed. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look at a hot chick wearing an outfit that looks like she applied it with a paint brush. Hell, have you read a comic book lately? People wear spandex that’s so tight you can see the veins in their arms. Thank god that isn’t a real thing because you know all the wrong people would be wearing it.

How am I expected to run from danger when this is present?!

The film starts off with The Black Widow tied to a chair wearing a small black dress. As soon as this scene appears in the movie there is a collective intake of breath from every male in the audience. Thankfully I’m not dating anyone because if I were I would be reaching for some theater thigh at this point. Its not new information that I have a thing for Scar Jo as those of us in the Johansson pervin’ business call her. She’s fucking cute.

Mental note: see in 3D next time.

There’s a scene where she is talking to Loki and some really important stuff and I didn’t even get the gist of it the first time I saw it because they kept switching back to this view of her from behind. All I heard was “Evil stuff is what I’m here to do…her ass looks great in that outfit I swear to…you cant clean your ledger…I bet she tastes like candy…sweet cotton candy…dripping with blood…holy shit I hope I’m not saying any of this out loud…”

She knows that every eye in SHIELD is on her.

Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and Hulk have all had their own films. Well, damn it. I think its time for Black Widow to have one. I don’t like having to find images where some buff ass dude isn’t standing all in the way blocking me from getting my perv on.

My name is Dante and I approve this message.