I love Los Angeles. I was born here and I’ll die here. I know to some that may sound depressing. I’ll assume that if you feel that way then you’re likely somewhere that sucks. But not me. I wont even do like some people and claim that my city is the best in the world. Its just best for me.
One thing that bothers me most when it comes to my city is the people who live here but do nothing but complain about it. I’m not talking about the people who were born here. This is the ones that come here, stay here, and do nothing but bitch about how much better it is back where they’re from. This is an old song I’ve listened to for years since not that many people I know were born here. I always ask myself “Why are you still here if its so bad?”
The phrase “L.A” is never used in a nice way to describe someone but I’ve never heard the few of my friends who were born here described as L.A. Certain types of attitudes, styles, and activities are called L.A. I don’t do any of these things but a lot of fucking people not from L.A do. Here’s some things considered L.A.
1. Surgery.
One of the big things you hear is that everyone here is beautiful. Bullshit. This one is total bullshit. There are a lot of people here and the ugly is on full display. But I’m not talking about natural beauty or that make believe beauty that comes from being a nice person. I’m talking about surgical beauty. Apparently everyone here has been under the knife.
I know three people that have had surgery. Two were corrective and one was cosmetic. The cosmetic one is someone that was not born here. We don’t all have surgery nor do we all want it. Not everyone has fake boobs, noses, and teeth. That’s shit people do because they think its what’s necessary to live here. In which case you're a 'tard.
2. Yoga.
Not everyone here does yoga. I won’t use me as a template for this because I’m sitting here at 7 in the morning after drinking orange juice, eating a doughnut, and drinking cocoa with pizza waiting to be eaten later. I’m not healthy is what I’m saying.
I know people who do yoga but the ones I know that do it all the damn time are not from here. I tried yoga once and fucked up my neck worse than falling from my top bunk when I was little. Los Angeles didn’t invent yoga and not everyone has a pair of yoga pants sitting in their closet. But if you do send me pictures. I love yoga pants…
3. Travel.
They say you cant get around in L.A. There’s a fucking song dedicated to this lie. People say you cant get around if you don’t drive. I am proof that its possible to get around this city. For a buck and some change I can get from downtown to the beach. I’ve done this.
Its not difficult to get around the city. But there are people who are dead set on never riding the bus. They say “The people are scary!” Not as scary as your friends are texting while driving, not paying attention while driving, or screaming like a goddamn lunatic while behind the wheel.
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| Better grab a scarf. Looks to be 74 today. |
I say to my friends who actually enjoy being here that I wish that everyone who hated it here would leave. God, that would be glorious. Who can hate a place where there’s pretty much sunshine all the time? Its overcast today but I know it’ll be for a few hours. And how can I even begin to get upset? 350 days out of the year its summer.
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| I took this last fall. |
I mentioned the beach earlier and you really can get there quickly. One bus is all it takes for me to get to Santa Monica and from there I can walk to Venice Beach. Its so fun being with a friend born somewhere else and going around the city. I hung with Alex last Friday night and we walked around Hollywood Blvd. and Sunset Blvd. Tuesday we went to The Beverly Center, Fairfax, and LACMA/La Brea Tar Pits. Everything we did was free.
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| Pretty sure I was laughing for a mean reason. |
Stop bitching about my city. I like it here. Also, stop calling things L.A and being that very thing you hypocritical assholes. Stop wearing sunglasses all the time. Stop eating your macrobiotic diet while laughing at people who enjoy McDonald’s. Stop talking about how flaky people here are instead of finding real friends. The friends I’ve had for the longest amount of time were born and raised here. So suck it.
But seriously...yoga pants.
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| I'm not joking. |
3 comments:
350 days of sunshine. Bliss.
As you know my experience of your city is very limited but one thing that was unexpected and lovely is the sense of space. I've never experienced that in any other big city, the sense that the sky is far away and blue and full of sunlight and that your body and mind is expanding (not in a 'shit, I popped my jeans!' kind of way or 'ooo look at the pretty colours' kind of way...). I noticed it each time I stepped out of a building, this enormous sense of space and wellbeing and I'm sure it's one of the reasons Los Angeles attracts creative, curious people. It's really strange that such a huge city has that sense of space, cities are meant to be claustrophobic, like London and New York!
I'd been told that there's no public transport is LA and it's lies, all lies. The transport website is excellent, I was able to plan bus/metro/light rail trips so easily and there's even a section on the website which advises tourists which metro/bus will bring them to the hotspots, which is fantastic. More cities need to do this. I didn't get to take advantage of it unfortunately but I know that if I did have time, all I had to do is figure out which bus from where I was staying met up with the bus or metro line in question. Easy peasy. And cheap. And fun! Great way to see a city, travelling by bus.
My only problem with the city, and I know it's due to my ignorance more than anything, is I never found a really good place to eat. I've read your food blog for a long time and it sounds like there are some great food to be found (there has to be in a place the size of LA!) but I've been unlucky so far, but then I never have had the time to really explore so...maybe another time.
You are really lucky to have been born and bred in a place that's perfect for you.
Oh and if you want photos of yoga pants, let's play the equality game -you first. Get them yoga pants on, mister.
L.A is both crowded and spread out at the same time. Strange that in a place with millions of people that live here and even more that visit that there are places you can go and not be bothered. You'd imagine that you wouldn't be able to go anywhere and get some peace and quiet.
I remember you telling me about the buses when you visited. I think people don't want to admit that they're afraid of getting lost if they got on a bus. Oh, and they forget that they can, like, get off the bus.
I am so not wearing yoga pants. Have my junk all exposed to the damn world. Thanks for writing, H.
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