DVDiculous: Dark Knight Returns Part 1

A few weeks ago while trolling the internets I stumbled upon the fact that there was going to be a Batman: The Dark Knight Returns animated movie based off of Frank Miller’s graphic novel of the same name. Not only that, but it was coming out very soon! The first thing I noticed, and was very happy about, was that the art style was not based exactly on Miller’s style. Don’t get me wrong. I like his art…sometimes. And don’t get me started on how terrible the Dark Knight Strikes Again story, art, and coloring was. Sheesh…

This movie starts off with Bruce Wayne in a race car pushing it past its limits before it explodes and he ejects. Bruce, now at 55 years old, meets up with Commissioner James Gordon who is also retiring from his job. Gordon hopes that Bruce really stays retired and brings up a sore spot when he mentions Jason Todd, the Robin that was killed by The Joker years prior. Bruce leaves and wanders to Crime Alley where his parents were murdered and is confronted by The Mutants, a gang that now runs the streets doing every violent thing you can imagine.

Bruce sits at home watching the news and how violent his city is getting. He begins to have nightmares and ends up walking into the Batcave. Alfred tells Bruce that he set off the alarms and asks him when he shaved his mustache. Bruce touches his face as if shocked that it is indeed gone. Know why? Because Batman ain’t got no mustache! Bruce ends up suiting up as Batman as Harvey Dent aka Two Face is released after getting surgery to look normal again. He immediately plots to blow up two buildings. Batman stops him and sees that Dent is damaged mentally beyond repair.

Who Is The Best Batman?

I love Batman. I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m not talking about any particular version of the guy. The idea of Batman makes me happy. And vengeful. There’s no doubt that he has had an impact on my life. As a child I used to pretend I was Batman and would jump off my Grandmama’s porch banister into a shopping cart, slamming my knees and ankles, holding back the pain and waiting for my cousin to shove the cart while imagining flames shooting out the back. I am surprised that my knees don’t look like a game of Jenga. Adam West’s portrayal was my first exposure and will always hold a special place in my black heart.

And don’t get me started on the Batmobile. This thing is still one of the coolest vehicles ever designed and if I was one of those people that just had money to wipe my ass with I’d own it. I wouldn’t own it and leave it in the garage for friends to look at. I’d drive it around and hit the turbo in school zones because I believe the children are the future and the future makes me scared and nervous.

The Rant Zone Show 12

In this long awaited episode I cover the Top 10 at the box office, Twilight Breaking Dawn review, the new Batman with IMAX footage, an American Psycho remake, awesome movies for 2013, a Top Gun and Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, Transformers 4, Thor 2 news, and a new M. Night movie. Click here to get your Rant On!

TV Slut: Batman: Year One

“Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. And sometimes I share it…with someone like you.” - Batman

When you sit down for a moment and think about it, Batman is a creepy ass character. The look. The voice. The fact that he only comes out at night. There is nothing about the guy that is kid friendly. He’s not gonna climb a tree to save a cat. He’s more likely to stare it down. But surprisingly, Batman: Year One is not just the story of Batman. Its also about Commissioner James Gordon and Selina Kyle aka Catwoman.

This movie is based off of the Frank Miller graphic novel of the same title and sticks about 95% close to the source material. Bruce Wayne (I swear if I have to tell you who Bruce Wayne is I’m gonna box your ears!) returns to Gotham after being gone for years. He knows that the city needs to be cleaned up but is not quite sure how to do it. Arriving by train is Gordon who hates the city and regrets bringing his pregnant wife there from Chicago. Gordon meets his new partner Detective Flass who is an asshole jock that beats people up for fun and takes bribes. Gordon keeps an eye on him.

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne decides to try out some training and heads to where the hookers are. He is propositioned by a little girl whose pimp hits her and threatens Bruce with a knife. Bruce breaks him down like a human Jenga and is attacked by the same little girl he just helped! He gets stabbed and is then attacked by Selina Kyle who is a prostitute at this point. She matches him movie for move until the cops show up and shoot Bruce in the shoulder and arrest him. He gets free after crashing the squad car and saves both their lives. He gets home and recalls the night his parents were murdered and says that he would rather die than wait another for a way to fight crime. That’s when a giant bat crashes through the window giving him his inspiration.

The Rant Zone Show 2

In this episode I bitch about Katie Holmes not aging, the Top 10 movies of the past weekend, people posting too many Batman spoilers, Mike Diva and his funny ass videos, The Help movie sounding annoying, and Superman’s strange ass outfit. Click here to download The Rant Zone!