The Review: The Intouchables

My cousin Mala has been trying to get me to see this French movie The Intouchables for years now. It stars François Cluzet as Philippe who is a very rich quadriplegic that is looking for a new helper since they don't tend to last very long due to all of the responsibilities. In walks Driss played by Omar Sy. He is just showing up to keep his welfare coming. He lives at home with his mother and a bunch of children and was recently released from prison.

Driss has no real desire to be hired and just wants them to sign his papers to keep getting his checks. Driss ends up getting kicked out of his mothers home and when he comes back the next day and finds out he is hired. He was the only applicant that didn't treat Philippe like he was handicapped. Driss gets him high, jokes with him, makes jokes about him, and just acts like he's any other person. Except for the butt wiping. He doesn't want any part of that.

I Survived The Wonder Woman Pilot

That was something else. For some reason Wonder Woman popped into my head and I wanted to see if I could watch that terrible looking series that never aired from 2011. Turns out that it is everywhere online so I watched it and it was actually worse than I was expecting.

Now, I am not being harsh on things like special effects because it isn't complete. Here Lasso of Truth is a cartoon at times, the Invisible Jet looks like ass, and the same two girls cheer for her on two separate occasions. But I can talk about the writing and the acting both of which were just...ugh.

Demand It!: Killer Joe, Source Code, John Dies At The End

I have been watching a lot of stuff On Demand lately and decided to make yet another category of movie reviews because of it. There’s already Babbling Old Man, DVDiculous, Theater Whore, and TV Slut.

The first film up is Killer Joe starring Matthew McConaughey as Killer Joe. He’s a cop that also kills professionally on the side. This is being called a dark comedy by many and I don’t get why. Its about a fuck up played by Emile Hirsch who owes money to bad people and decides to have his mom killed for her insurance policy. His dad Thomas Haden Church, step mom Gina Gershon, and sister Juno Temple who is strange as fuck agree and madness ensues.

Theater Whore: The Raid Redemption

Sweet merciful crap! This was an intense movie! If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if Streets Of Rage 2 were made into a movie, this is it. The Raid: Redemption is an Indonesian film about a twenty man SWAT team that is heading into a building run by a crime lord. The premise seems pretty straight forward and that’s because it is. No bullshit “Oh, we have to save this woman and fall in love” or “What is the meaning of life…?” nonsense. Just lots of fighting.

His gun shoots elbows.

The guy you wanna pay the most attention to, and you definitely will, is Rama. This guy is a fighting machine. He will break your arms, legs, and neck in a split second. I’m getting ahead of myself. The team arrives to the building and immediately shit goes bad. You know there’s some dirty behind the scenes stuff going on that’s high up on the food chain.

Theater Whore: Rubber

Cam told me about this movie called Rubber and I thought she was making it all up or dreamed she had actually watched it. It’s the story of a tire that is alive and has psychokinetic abilities. That means it can blow shit up just by looking at it and concentrating. I have wished for this ability since childhood and have yet to master it. Yet. The premise alone made it worth checking out so I did. And now I cant get those eighty some odd minutes back.

The movie starts off with a bunch of chairs in a desert being knocked over by a car. A cop climbs out of the trunk and begins to point out ridiculous facts about great films of history and how nothing makes sense. So you should just sit and watch this and try not to make any sense of it. I’m cool with that. Hudson Hawk is one of my favorite films. I can not think…to a certain point. After about half an hour my mind started to drift and wondered what this would’ve been like as a short and not a full length film.

Theater Whore: The Sitter

I think the last film to make me not laugh as much as this one The Sitter was The Hangover. Starring Jonah Hill (Moneyball, Knocked Up, Superbad) is an asshole. There’s no other way to really describe his character. The movie starts off with him going down on a girl and not getting the same in return. He heads home and flops on the couch and his desperate mom asks if he can baby-sit for her friend. He gets a case of the guilties and agrees. So far the story has established that he is very unlikable.

Theater Whore: The Artist

The Artist is one of those films that makes you remember exactly why you enjoy movies. I know that is strong praise for a film that is getting a lot of award season buzz and all those other cute phrases people like to throw around but its true. This is a truly amazing film not just for the acting but the fact that it is a silent film made in 2011 that takes place between 1927 - 1932. I saw this movie twice this weekend. Once at The Arclight in Hollywood and the second at The Westside Pavilion. I’ve only seen a movie more than once in a theater four times in my life and I’m glad this is one of them.

The movie stars Jean Dujardin as George Valentin, a silent film superstar who along with his dog films theaters with his performances on screen. After the premiere of his latest film while taking interviews and meeting fans he literally bumps into Bérénice Bejo as Peppy Miller. He hams I up with her until she smiles for the photographers and plants a kiss on his cheek. His wife is not impressed when she sees the photo with the words “Who’s That Girl?” on the front of Variety. She heads to Hollywoodland and gets an audition as a dancer and lands a part in George’s next film.

TV Slut: Batman: Year One

“Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. And sometimes I share it…with someone like you.” - Batman

When you sit down for a moment and think about it, Batman is a creepy ass character. The look. The voice. The fact that he only comes out at night. There is nothing about the guy that is kid friendly. He’s not gonna climb a tree to save a cat. He’s more likely to stare it down. But surprisingly, Batman: Year One is not just the story of Batman. Its also about Commissioner James Gordon and Selina Kyle aka Catwoman.

This movie is based off of the Frank Miller graphic novel of the same title and sticks about 95% close to the source material. Bruce Wayne (I swear if I have to tell you who Bruce Wayne is I’m gonna box your ears!) returns to Gotham after being gone for years. He knows that the city needs to be cleaned up but is not quite sure how to do it. Arriving by train is Gordon who hates the city and regrets bringing his pregnant wife there from Chicago. Gordon meets his new partner Detective Flass who is an asshole jock that beats people up for fun and takes bribes. Gordon keeps an eye on him.

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne decides to try out some training and heads to where the hookers are. He is propositioned by a little girl whose pimp hits her and threatens Bruce with a knife. Bruce breaks him down like a human Jenga and is attacked by the same little girl he just helped! He gets stabbed and is then attacked by Selina Kyle who is a prostitute at this point. She matches him movie for move until the cops show up and shoot Bruce in the shoulder and arrest him. He gets free after crashing the squad car and saves both their lives. He gets home and recalls the night his parents were murdered and says that he would rather die than wait another for a way to fight crime. That’s when a giant bat crashes through the window giving him his inspiration.

Best Films Of 2010

In a year that seemed to start off rather week but finish ridiculously strong I kind of had to struggle to find ten films that I truly enjoyed. But try I did and this is what I came up with. These films range from action, suspense, drama, and animation. I don’t like just one style of film and neither should you. Let me know what you think.

10. Girl With Dragon Tattoo

Great film that had me sitting in the theater and just glued to the screen. There was no way for me to figure out how this movie would end and where it was headed. Ignore the sequels and the future remake and just watch this, the original.

9. Secret Of The Eyes

Would never have seen this if not for my worldly friend. I hadn’t felt this way about this type of film since The Usual Suspects.