The Review: Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far On Foot

Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far On Foot 8/10

I just finished watching the movie Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far On Foot. Cam had talked about it on our Chocket Awards (click here to listen to that) and I had not seen it yet. This is based off of the memoir of a cartoonist named John Callahan and his journey from being an alcoholic to quadriplegic to drunken quadriplegic artist to finally sober. I liked the way that they portrayed his alcoholism in this. It never seemed fun. In some movies they make it seem like this personal party to the person involved but in this they managed to really show how sad and lonely it can actually be. One night while partying and drinking John meets a guy named Dexter and they just keep the party going until they end up crashing. Dexter gets away fine but John loses his ability to feel below his neck.

Theater Whore: 22 Jump Street

22 Jump Street 6/10

Since I liked 21 Jump Street so much that I had to watch this sequel 22 Jump Street. It has the same stars, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Nick Offerman, and Ice Cube. But they added a few more to the cast and one that was especially awesome and deserved way more screen time was Jillian Bell. That girl was funny as hell and I'd never seen her in anything before. The movie starts with a guy named Ghost played by Peter Stormare who is the bad guy, of course. Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum) go undercover as cholos to try and bust them. It all goes to shit when an octopus jumps Schmidt and the bad guys get away.

Deputy Chief Hardy (Offerman) sends Schmidt and Jenko on another undercover case. He tells them to do exactly what they did the last time. He then goes on to explain what is going to happen in the movie including all the problems they will have and how they will overcome them. They need to find out why a girl was killed that involves a drug called WHYPHY (Word hard, yes. Play harder yes.) and are roomed together. Immediately Jenko makes friends with the jocks while Schmidt struggles as usual to talk to people. Schmidt ends up meeting and hooking up with a girl named Maya played by Amber Stevens who has the roommate from hell.

Theater Whore: The Wolf Of Wallstreet

The Wolf of Wallstreet 8/10

It took me a while to finally get around to see The Wolf Of Wallstreet and I'm kinda pissed about it seeing as how I've been watching so many bad films (with another cued up and ready to watch right after I finish writing this). I held up on seeing it because I had watched interviews and read one written by the daughter of the guy, Jordan Belfort, that this is based off of. He's a dick. This movie portrays him as a dick. This movie also makes doing drugs seems awesome!

This is about the rise and fall of Belfort played by Leonardo DiCaprio. He goes from an alright kinda guy to this massive dick at the speed of light! He cheats on his wife with this hot chick played by Margot Robbie that he meets at a party and ends up marrying her. I'm jumping way ahead of myself. Belfort gets a job trading with Matthew McConaughey who inspires him to be a beast. I had no idea he was even in this movie.

Theater Whore: This Is The End

I put off for a long while watching This Is The End and I’m not quite sure why. It has done well but I have only heard from one person I knew that it was good. So I finally watched it and laughed my damned ass off. This was one of the funniest movie I’ve seen since Tropic Thunder and Stepbrothers. This is about a bunch of friends, all celebrities, that end up experiencing the end of the world during a party and trying to figure out how to survive it.

Jay Baruchel shows up to meet with his friend Seth Rogen to go to a party. Jay isn’t all that excited about going since he doesn’t really know the people there and had a particular hatred for Jonah Hill. They spend the day getting high and then head over to James Franco’s house. Jay manages to upset Craig Robinson, Emma Watson, and witnesses Michael Cera, who is creepy and high as fuck, getting a blowjob and his ass eaten while drinking a Capri Sun in the bathroom. Rihanna ends up slapping him for smacking her ass. 

After Jay and Seth head to the store suddenly there are explosions and people are zapped with blue light that sends them floating into the sky. Jay and Seth race back to Franco’s home and everything there is fine. They don’t believe anything until earthquakes happen and a hole opens up outside and folks start falling into a fire pit. 

Theater Whore: 21 Jump Street

I so didn’t want to see 21 Jumpstreet. I’d seen the trailer and all the billboards posted all over the damned city and it just didn’t look good. But then I remembered how trailers have really fucked me over in the past few years and decided to give this a try. I’m glad I did because this turned out to be a very funny film. Why? Because they point out the obvious just when you’re thinking the same damned thing.

Theater Whore: The Sitter

I think the last film to make me not laugh as much as this one The Sitter was The Hangover. Starring Jonah Hill (Moneyball, Knocked Up, Superbad) is an asshole. There’s no other way to really describe his character. The movie starts off with him going down on a girl and not getting the same in return. He heads home and flops on the couch and his desperate mom asks if he can baby-sit for her friend. He gets a case of the guilties and agrees. So far the story has established that he is very unlikable.