Theater Whore: The Revenant

The Revenant 9/10

There will be some spoilers. Cam and I went to the Sundance theater and checked out The Revenant starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy. Holy shit. This movie should have been called This Is What Real Cold Looks Like, Fuck Bears, Nature Is An Evil Hooker, or Always Bring Chapstick. I mean...damn! This movie was rough! Poor Leo got his ass kicked the entire damned time. If it wasn't Native Americans it was bears. If it wasn't bears it was the weather. If it wasn't the weather it was sickness. If it wasn't...you get the picture. Shit was way rough.

It takes place in the early 1800's where a team of hunters and trappers are gathering pelts. Native Americans show up and start wrecking their shit. Leo as Hugh Glass and his half-Native American son are there and he is leading them. They get attacked, grab what they can, and out of 45 guys about nine of them survive and make it to a boat. When they reach land Glass is attacked by an angry ass mama bear. Its one of the most brutal attacks ever filmed and awesome. It made me sweat, my asshole pucker, and my face melt off.

Theater Whore: The Wolf Of Wallstreet

The Wolf of Wallstreet 8/10

It took me a while to finally get around to see The Wolf Of Wallstreet and I'm kinda pissed about it seeing as how I've been watching so many bad films (with another cued up and ready to watch right after I finish writing this). I held up on seeing it because I had watched interviews and read one written by the daughter of the guy, Jordan Belfort, that this is based off of. He's a dick. This movie portrays him as a dick. This movie also makes doing drugs seems awesome!

This is about the rise and fall of Belfort played by Leonardo DiCaprio. He goes from an alright kinda guy to this massive dick at the speed of light! He cheats on his wife with this hot chick played by Margot Robbie that he meets at a party and ends up marrying her. I'm jumping way ahead of myself. Belfort gets a job trading with Matthew McConaughey who inspires him to be a beast. I had no idea he was even in this movie.

Theater Whore: Django Unchained

When I first saw the trailer for Django Unchained I was excited because I love Quentin Tarantino films. Forget the fact that he still hasn’t made Kill Bill 3 or the movie about the Vega Brother’s that will never get made. He uses the same tricks in his stuff but it always works. That is until this movie. There has been a lot of talk about this movie regarding either the violence or the use of the N-word. No one is really talking about specific things about the film or what the plot is. And for good reason. This movie has a very simple plot.

Django played by Jamie Foxx is freed by Dr. King Schultz played by Christophe Waltz. Schultz knows that Django knows what these guys he is bounty hunting looks like so he kills the guys that were holding Django and has Django join him and offers him some of the bounty to help him find some guys. Django wants to find his wife who may have been sold as a hooker or something. She‘s played by Kerry Washington and I am not a fan of her face. It bugs me.