Theater Whore: John Wick

John Wick 7/10

This was surprisingly cool. Besides that catching me off guard was how huge this cast was. It was like everyone from your favorite cable shows were hired. I'm gonna just list everyone here to show you. Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, Willem Dafoe, Dean Winters, Adrianne Palicki (ugh), Bridget Moynahan, John Leguizamo, Ian McShane, Lance Reddick, David Patrick Kelly, Clarke Peters, and wrestler Kevin Nash. That is a fuck ton of people! Also, if you want to solidify someone as a bad guy, just have them murder a puppy.

This movie has a very basic premise of revenge and I liked that. Reeves stars as John Wick who is a hitman that is out of the game. His wife dies of cancer and while at home being sad he gets a gift from her of a small hound dog. The dog is named Daisy and he is living his normal old life with her until one day at the gas station he comes across the skeevy looking guy that asks John how much he wants for his car and insults his dog.

I Survived The Wonder Woman Pilot

That was something else. For some reason Wonder Woman popped into my head and I wanted to see if I could watch that terrible looking series that never aired from 2011. Turns out that it is everywhere online so I watched it and it was actually worse than I was expecting.

Now, I am not being harsh on things like special effects because it isn't complete. Here Lasso of Truth is a cartoon at times, the Invisible Jet looks like ass, and the same two girls cheer for her on two separate occasions. But I can talk about the writing and the acting both of which were just...ugh.

Now THIS Is A Wonder Woman

Is there anything porn cant do? It saves relationships, keeps teens off the streets, and me from going on punching sprees. There is a new adult film starring porn actress Kimberly Kane where she plays Wonder Woman and I'll be damned if she isn't the second best looking woman to wear the outfit. It has an updated look that is just incredible. I mean, honestly. She looks like a great Wonder Woman. Nevermind the fact that she has had more hands on her than the Stanley Cup. If they were to make a legit WW film this dame needs to play her. You know why? Because anything is better than this.