TV Slut: Batman: Year One

“Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. And sometimes I share it…with someone like you.” - Batman

When you sit down for a moment and think about it, Batman is a creepy ass character. The look. The voice. The fact that he only comes out at night. There is nothing about the guy that is kid friendly. He’s not gonna climb a tree to save a cat. He’s more likely to stare it down. But surprisingly, Batman: Year One is not just the story of Batman. Its also about Commissioner James Gordon and Selina Kyle aka Catwoman.

This movie is based off of the Frank Miller graphic novel of the same title and sticks about 95% close to the source material. Bruce Wayne (I swear if I have to tell you who Bruce Wayne is I’m gonna box your ears!) returns to Gotham after being gone for years. He knows that the city needs to be cleaned up but is not quite sure how to do it. Arriving by train is Gordon who hates the city and regrets bringing his pregnant wife there from Chicago. Gordon meets his new partner Detective Flass who is an asshole jock that beats people up for fun and takes bribes. Gordon keeps an eye on him.

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne decides to try out some training and heads to where the hookers are. He is propositioned by a little girl whose pimp hits her and threatens Bruce with a knife. Bruce breaks him down like a human Jenga and is attacked by the same little girl he just helped! He gets stabbed and is then attacked by Selina Kyle who is a prostitute at this point. She matches him movie for move until the cops show up and shoot Bruce in the shoulder and arrest him. He gets free after crashing the squad car and saves both their lives. He gets home and recalls the night his parents were murdered and says that he would rather die than wait another for a way to fight crime. That’s when a giant bat crashes through the window giving him his inspiration.

Commissioner Loeb does not like how goody-goody Gordon is and decides that Flass needs to teach him a lesson. They beat him with bats leaving him unconscious. He gets his stuff together and finds Flass leaving a friends house and drives him off the road. Then he beats the crap out of him and leaves him lying naked and handcuffed in the woods. That’s what you get for threatening a man’s pregnant wife!

Later when Gordon and Detective Essen who is having an affair with trap Batman in a building that is being bombed, he hides and waits for the SWAT team to arrive. Batman takes them down one by one before using a new device to bring every bat from his cave to the scene and scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Batman gets away even after being shot two more times. You know why? Because he’s Batman! Selina ends up spending the last of her money on a costume to become Catwoman and gets upset that the press calls her Batman’s sidekick and helper.

Oh, there’s more but you all need to see it for yourself. Thankfully Mr. Soot let me borrow this because as I have mentioned before, DC Comics has the best animated comic book related films by far. The art, the story, and the action is amazing. I wasn’t blown away by Batman’s voice but he got the tone right. His behavior as Bruce Wayne was remarkable. I loved the scene where he grosses out Gordon’s wife by spreading his legs wearing only a robe. Talk about a Bat-A-Wang! Hahaha! Get it?! Oh, you know that was funny.