"Bad Mamma Jamma": Linda Hamilton

"My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light. I keep saying I'm Lucy Ricardo trapped in somebody else's body." Linda Hamilton

This weeks Bad Mamma Jamma could have done one film and made this list. Linda Hamilton is this weeks BMJ and her role as Sarah Conner alone would earn her a spot on this list. How many people, not just women, do you know that can cock a shotgun with one arm? Oh, really? Your aunt? Stop lying! In the first Terminator movie she hooked up with a hobo from the future and fought a crazy robot that wanted to kill her because her vajayjay would birth a savior. It ended up birthing a crackhead. Or That Yellow Bastard. Or Christian Bale depending on which storyline you follow. Either way we have her to thank for the goddamn Apocalypse from happening. Thanks, Linda! Know how bad she is? When they dug up her grave her coffin was full of guns! What’s your coffin full of?! Tears!

She was also on Beauty & The Beast. Some of you may only know the story from a Disney film where a bunch of pots and pans dance and the old lady from Murder She Wrote sings to a monster about being nice to a bitchy village girl. Well, is this version the beast lives in the sewers like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and Linda Hamilton and him bond over the fact that they both have crazy ass hair. And the beats is played by Ron Perlman. I don know what’s going on in this picture or who that other girl is, but I think its safe to assume that she doesn’t want to be there but has no choice.

Linda has been busy with TV shows ands voice over work. Her character is so powerful that they made a show based off of it which Summer Glau killed because that’s what she does. She was also married to James Cameron aka Mr. Shiny Mc3D. And she didn’t kill him! Oh, Robert Patrick gotta die because he is trying to stop Eddie Furlong from growing up to be a dope head but cameron gets to live and make Avatar?! But its fine. She gets a pass because she whipped that nasty orderly’s ass for trying to mess with her while she was half coma’d in that asylum. And did I mention that she has an identical twin? Double Linda = C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!! But I doubt any man would chance trying to handle two of her. If she can do to a man what she can do with a shotgun...