"Bad Ass Mofo": William Fichtner

"What are you? The fucking Defender of All Things White? We're talking about a White that shot three Black men and you're arguing with me, that maybe we're not being 'fair' to him?" Flanagan Crash

Even if you don’t know the name you know the face. He has been in over fifty films and each time he shows up I say “Hey, its that dude…” This week’s Bad Ass Mofo is William Fichtner. He is one of those actors that have managed to create the perfect balance of film and TV (Entourage, Prison Break, Invasion). The last film I saw him in was Drive Angry with Nic Cage in which he plays a character known only as The Accountant. He manages to reel that psycho in and even convinces him go back to hell voluntarily. Even Jesus himself cant do that! believe me. He's been trying for hundreds of years.

In The Dark Knight during the robbery perpetrated by The Joker and an assfull (which is a lot) of clowns and he’s like “Fuck your lifestyle!” and came out with a shotgun and started lighting fools up! Yes, he ended up on the business end up a shotgun but still. He was the only one that took a stand. And who can forget him as Darren MacElroy in Blades Of Glory, the mean ass father who “breaks up” with his adopted son after he ties for the gold medal? Or as the prisoner abusing Captain Knauer in The Longest Yard? I could sit here all day pointing out examples of how bad ass this guy is, but I shouldn’t have to explain it. One look in his eyes tell you “Hey, come give me a hug. Gotcha, bitch!”

I hope that after writing this I remember this guys name. Hell, I better. He looks like the kinda guy that would just show up at my house and punch me in the throat. I saw him in Go. He has the ability to be sweet and then next thing you know you’re flushing your drugs down the toilet to get away from him. Oh, did I mention that he was in Heat? Seriously, I can do this all day with this guy. Contact, Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down, and the underrated Equilibrium. William Fichtner is a great actor and one day he will get a role that will propel him so far into the spotlight that none of us will forget his name. Or else he’ll reach through your toilet and squeeze something that will hurt. Like my awesome boobs. Yeah, I imagine his arms are that damned long.