Kim Kardashian has flown to Minnesota to discuss the divorce with Kris Humphries and the pastor that married them. She wants closure. There is a joke about her legs just waiting to be told.
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are staying together despite rumors he banged that chick and got her pregnant. Turns out she said the baby was her ex’s that she was arrested for assaulting. What a winner!
Mel Gibson was seen on a date with a chick that looks just like his ex-wife he beat the shit out of. Obviously this new girl doesn’t have internet access, watch the news, or hates having all her teeth.
Snooki of The Jersey Shore has said that The Situation is broke. Its not true, but damn that would be funny to me.
Anthony Weiner and his pregnant wife are not splitting up. So fucking smile, dude! He looks like he is about to die in every picture. Hey, you’re the one who sent out dick pics while you were married with a kid on the way and she decided too stay with you even after you got shitcanned from your job. Say cheese!
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner from Twilight have been immortalized (insert vampire joke here) at the Mann’s Chinese Theater in cement. Can we stop pretending she is attractive now? No? Damn.
Zach Kehayov was trying to use Tara Reid for a green card. Really? She seems like such a nice person…
Kate Gosselin was photographed with her kids playing under their minivan. Mother of the Year that one.
Lady Gaga is doing a Thanksgiving special. Don’t get mad when she wears the damn turkey.
Kate Major says that her on again off again man Michael Lohan is on steroids. That’s the last thing this planet needs. That man with fucking superpowers.
The new Bond Girls Berenice Marlohe and Naomie Harris make my pants tight.
And for no reason Melissa Joan Hart!
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