"Fighting Words!": The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

I think 2011 has been the year of remakes. Every single week there is a movie that’s been done before. I don’t mean done before as in its similar to something that’s been out (In Time and Logan’s Run). I mean, “Hey. This movie came out last year and I like it but its in another language. Fuck reading. I wanna make an American version!” The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo came out in 2009 and the remake comes out soon. Its 2011. That’s two goddamn years. I have seen the three films associated with the books and have read the books. Very wordy. Very violent. Very boring at long gaps. Like hundred page long gaps. But still a good read. I’m not here to bitch about that though. I wanna bitch about the girl they picked for the new version.

Noomi Rapace played Lisbeth Salander in the original film. She looks like she’d steal your wallet but you’d be happy because that meant she touched your butt. Yeah, she has a bunch of piercing. She’s totally anti-social. And don’t forget the big ass tattoo on her back. But besides all that stuff (including the haircut that looks like she trimmed her hair in the dark) she is still pretty. Even if you didn’t like the way she looks you know that she could clean up and be hot. Which she does. The actress that plays her is fucking good looking. Plus she looks like a real badass. Here’s a trailer for the original film.

Nope. Rooney Mara plays Lisbeth in the new film and she looks like a crack whore. In case you know nothing about this story, at a point she and the main dude get busy. There is no way in hell that Daniel Craig, fucking James Bond, would ever want to bang this dame. She doesn’t look like she’d steal your wallet. She looks like she’d crawl through your doggy door and steal your mother’s urn thinking there was heroin in it. This chick isn’t even kinda cute or hot. Her haircut is worse than the first. It looks like someone tied a pair of scissors to a rope and swung them at her. Oh, and if you wanna see the new version just watch the trailer. The whole fucking movie is in it!