"Fighting Words!": The Grove Theater

As I mentioned in my last blog I experienced something I’d never seen before. Follow me children as I begin my tale. It all started on Christmas night. Me and my friend went to see Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. I don’t like leaving the house on Christmas. Everyone is still crazy and looking to take out the fact that they hate their family on unsuspecting victims. We headed to The Grove over by Farmer’s Market and got the last of four tickets available. We skipped on getting snacks and head into the theater.

I have to point out that a few months ago The Grove started doing like The Arclight and having you pick a seat before heading in. As soon as we fucking get inside an usher tells us “Its going down, ni**a! Every man for himself!” They didn’t really say that though they might as well. “Its now first come first serve.” So why in the hell did we pick seats then? We head to our original seats anyway and naturally they are taken.

"Fighting Words!": Dragon Tattoo Fashion

(note: interview excerpts from Eva Gabrielsson are taken from Associated Press Stockholm, Germany)

Now you too can dress like a woman that has spent her life being raped, beaten, and even locked in a mental institution! I started seeing these billboards a few weeks ago with Cam and we were at a loss for words. H&M in their infinite wisdom has put out a line of clothing to coincide with the release of the American version of The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo. If you have not read it I will give you The Dante Version of the first book.

"Fighting Words!": New Girl

As friends of mine and readers of my blogs know I wont hesitate to make an uninformed decision. I will hate anything without seeing, hearing, or knowing exactly what it is. Usually screaming “Its science!” is enough for me to believe that I’ve won any discussion. But I decided to try and give a show a chance that I knew just from the billboards and commercials would suck ass. New Girl starring Zooey Deschanel on Fox was watched and hated by me. I didn’t even wanna watch it! My friend was over and she convinced me to give this shit a chance. I did and I want that time back. Every goddamn second of it. The thing that pissed me off after watching it was that my friend said “That wasn’t funny…” to which I asked “Then why did you make me watch it?!” which she replied with a light shrug.

"Fighting Words!": The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

I think 2011 has been the year of remakes. Every single week there is a movie that’s been done before. I don’t mean done before as in its similar to something that’s been out (In Time and Logan’s Run). I mean, “Hey. This movie came out last year and I like it but its in another language. Fuck reading. I wanna make an American version!” The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo came out in 2009 and the remake comes out soon. Its 2011. That’s two goddamn years. I have seen the three films associated with the books and have read the books. Very wordy. Very violent. Very boring at long gaps. Like hundred page long gaps. But still a good read. I’m not here to bitch about that though. I wanna bitch about the girl they picked for the new version.

"Fighting Words!": Terra Nova

If you know me then you know that I like making uninformed comments. Do you think I’m gonna wait till that show Terra Nova starts to start talking about how ridiculous it looks? You must be crazy! When I first saw the commercial for this I thought it was for a Jurassic Park series or something. That film set the bar high in terms of special effects and how a dinosaur should look.

                                                          “What ya’ll cookin’?”

“The show begins in the year 2149, a time when all life on planet Earth is threatened with extinction. In an effort to save the human race, scientists develop a time machine allowing people to travel 85 million years back in time to prehistoric Earth. The Shannon family join the tenth pilgrimage of settlers to Terra Nova, the first human colony on the other side of the temporal doorway. However, they are unaware that the colony is in the middle of a group of carnivorous dinosaurs.”

"Fighting Words!": Viola Davis

I know this is supposed to be where I scream and rant about something that is bothering me. Well, I am. Technically. I’m mad at Viola Davis. Know why? Because she is hot. Viola Davis is fucking hot and a bit too classy for me to add to my Fap Files. So why is it that in every film she look a hot mess? What kinda monkey ass Bizarro World do I live in where an actress that looks this pretty can only get roles where she has to ugly herself up? I need to sit her down and tell her "You did a great film where you were kinda scary looking, but now you can look normal. You don't have to look like you were an extra in The Color Purple anymore, Ms. Davis. Now get up. My lap is getting sore..." I wish someone was recording me when she came out to do Jay Leno’s show when she was doing advertising for the movie Doubt. She came out looking way hot! How did she look in Doubt you ask?

"Fighting Words!": Whitney

I hate Whitney Cummings. I don’t even know this woman and I cant stand her. Or her new show. Yes, a new show that has yet to even air has managed to garner such rage from me I had to make a new segment on my site just so I can bitch about it. There have been stupid ass billboards all over the city and not one of them has made me want to sit down and dedicate even half an hour of my life to watching what this smarmy bitch has to say about life, love, or relationships. So what the hell is this show about?