Theater Whore: Widows

Widows 3/10

Tonight at AFI with Koko we saw two movies. One of them was Widows starring everybody and their mama. This movie was like having every ingredient needed to bake a cake and ending up with candy corn. I don't know what the hell happened. Full disclosure, I saw the trailer for this a few months back and thought it was a joke. I did not think this was an actual thing that was being made so I did not have high hopes for enjoying it. But then as the movie started I got all kinds of happy seeing who was in it. “They got Punisher in this shit?! And Liam Neesons?! Michelle Rodriguez aka Wife #3 and Viola Davis aka Wife #5?!” Suddenly I was very interested in this movie. Hell, a lot of the cast and the director Steve McQueen were even there. I live down the street from Hollywood. Be all kinds of jealous. I'm just saying. So in the Mann's Chinese Theater or whatever they call it now with 900 mutants we watched what ended up being a clusterfuck of a movie.

Theater Whore: Fences

Fences 10/10

Yesterday after watching two shitty films in a row I was talking to Camille and told her that I needed to cleanse myself cinematically. Later, even though she is not feeling well, she asked if I wanted to go see Fences at The Arclight. The answer or course is hell's yes. I am glad that I knew nothing about this movie other than the two main stars and that there was a play about it. Other than that I had no attachments or anything to base it off of. I like that. Its hard to describe this movie without spoiling a bunch of it or even making it sound super interesting based on the premise because there ain't no explosions of nothing. Its just an incredibly well acted movie with a small cast.

"Fighting Words!": Viola Davis

I know this is supposed to be where I scream and rant about something that is bothering me. Well, I am. Technically. I’m mad at Viola Davis. Know why? Because she is hot. Viola Davis is fucking hot and a bit too classy for me to add to my Fap Files. So why is it that in every film she look a hot mess? What kinda monkey ass Bizarro World do I live in where an actress that looks this pretty can only get roles where she has to ugly herself up? I need to sit her down and tell her "You did a great film where you were kinda scary looking, but now you can look normal. You don't have to look like you were an extra in The Color Purple anymore, Ms. Davis. Now get up. My lap is getting sore..." I wish someone was recording me when she came out to do Jay Leno’s show when she was doing advertising for the movie Doubt. She came out looking way hot! How did she look in Doubt you ask?