I know this is supposed to be where I scream and rant about something that is bothering me. Well, I am. Technically. I’m mad at Viola Davis. Know why? Because she is hot. Viola Davis is fucking hot and a bit too classy for me to add to my Fap Files. So why is it that in every film she look a hot mess? What kinda monkey ass Bizarro World do I live in where an actress that looks this pretty can only get roles where she has to ugly herself up? I need to sit her down and tell her "You did a great film where you were kinda scary looking, but now you can look normal. You don't have to look like you were an extra in The Color Purple anymore, Ms. Davis. Now get up. My lap is getting sore..." I wish someone was recording me when she came out to do Jay Leno’s show when she was doing advertising for the movie Doubt. She came out looking way hot! How did she look in Doubt you ask?
I was sitting here expecting Oprah Winfrey to come out and all of a sudden here come Halle damn Berry. I have to admit that I am not familiar with her work. All’s I know (Jesus, I’m talking like I’m in one of her films now…) is that the films that I do know her for are films that do not make her look hot and that shit needs to stop. This is what she looks like in the number one movie The Help.
Is it so bad to have Ms. Davis look the hotness in a movie? I don’t think so. There are a lot of roles that could use a hot Black chick. Huh? Born when? Oh. My bad. Woman. She is not a chick. Plus she look like she can turn a switch in a second on my ass. Hopefully she doesn’t cry for real like she did in Doubt. Nothing like seeing someone weep like that on a big screen.
Hollywood, get your shit together and start making Viola Davis hot in movies so that I can smile when I see her instead of having my penis retreat into my body like a scared turtle.
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