FAP FILES: Bad Singers

Rihanna

There is a lot of music that I don’t like. I started my blog therossradio.blogspot.com because I was tired of hearing crap every single time I turned on the radio. Years ago it became pretty obvious that music was more about how someone looked more than how they sounded. Nowadays all someone has to do is dress weird (Lady Gaga) to get attention and record sells. You don’t even have to be a good performer live. Look at Rihanna. I like parts of her. That forehead makes me nervous. She’s like a human Jenga or something. But I do enjoy her legs. But I’ll be damned if she don’t sound like a pigeon being shaken like a salt shaker. Speaking of salt shakers…

Shakira

Shakira moves like one. I remember seeing her on some show years ago performing. I had my TV on mute like I always do during the day and un-muted it and started screaming. I do like not the way she sings at all. But her music videos made my pants tear off faster than a NBA player after being announced on the court. A very attractive and pint sized “singer” that does more for my eyes than my ears. But seriously. Her videos are amazing. She can do things with her body that will break your junk off.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry is another one where I don’t like her music at all but she is hot. I didn’t like her until she appeared on SNL wearing what you see here. She is another one of those weird outfit wearing ones but once she showed up in a school girl outfit I thought “Oh, okay…now I get it.” Everyone knows the plaid skirt rule. If a girl is a 3 she is automatically a 6 or 7 just because of that skirt. The fact that she spent the whole skit bouncing up and down made it that much better. She makes me like boobs.

Beyonce

Beyonce has been attractive for years now. Yeah, she’s pregnant now and penises will be flown at half staff until she gives birth. I haven’t liked her music even when she was in Destiny’s Child. I made the mistake of listening to an interview of hers. Nothing will make my junk vanish faster than hearing her speak. It sounds so damned country! Like, country country! But her legs make me smile. A lot. If she didn’t talk she’d be close to perfect. But then she wouldn’t have a career and I couldn’t look at her. Damn you cruel fates!

Jennifer Lopez

Oh, Jennifer Lopez. Remember when she used to look like this? Sadly this was about midway through her transformation into a White woman. Back when she first came out she was super hot! You remember what she looked like when she did Selena? Her whole face was different. But over time she has messed with her face to the point where her race is indeterminable. Kinda like Sade. I don’t know what race that woman is. 80% sure she’s Black…ish. And her music sets off my kill switch. What was I talking about? Yeah. J-Lo was hot back in the day. Famous for an ass that has managed to vanish. Maybe its in the same place her dancing skills are hiding.