"Bad Ass Mofo": Julius Carry

“Well, well, well. If it ain't the serious, elusive Leroy Green. I've been waiting a long time for this, Leroy. I am sick of hearing these bullshit Superman stories about the - Wassah! - legendary Bruce Leroy catching bullets with his teeth. Catches bullets with his teeth? Nigga please.” Sho’nuff The Last Dragon

This weeks Bad Ass Mofo is Julius Carry. Oh, you don’t know who he is. Oh, just Sho’nuff The Shogun of Harlem! Didn’t know that Harlem had a shogun? Well it didn’t until he showed up and challenged that pretty son of a bitch Bruce Leroy. Lots of kids had heroes growing up. Mine were Batman, Rambo, and Sho’nuff. When we first got Select TV…okay. Let me explain to the kids for a second what Select TV was. Nowadays you spoiled bastards just press a button and you can watch whatever you want. Back in the early 80’s, if you wanted to see a pay movie or boxing show a guy actually came to your house and had to enter a code so you could watch it. When we got our Select hooked up the first thing showing was The Last Dragon. Seeing glowing red hands whipping light skinned ass was my dream made reality.

"JAY-ZUS!!!"

Besides being the only Black man brave enough to beat up another Black bold enough to own a pizza parlor in Brooklyn, he was in The Adventures Of Briscoe County Jr. This was a show on Fox that was cancelled well before it should’ve been since the show kicked so much ass and starred future BAM Bruce fucking Campbell. How many cowboys with jerry curls have you seen? Not none! Because he invented it. Know how hard it is to find curl activator in the 1800’s while avoiding being a slave? Very! But he did it because he’s fucking awesome.

The only time he wasn't awesome...

Julius Carry passed away a few years ago and that sucked. Some people are just too damn cool for the world. He was so tough that the first BAM Samuel L. Jackson is supposed to play him in a remake of The Last Dragon. If you ever wore a pair of Converse and told someone to kiss them you were channeling Julius. If you have ever asked a girl you just wrecked “Who’s the master?!” you just gave it to her Sho’nuff style. And if you’re still running around with a jerry curl…you need help. Because only one man can pull that look off and not get laughed at.