FAP FILES: Carla Gugino

I totally forgot to do a Fap File the other day which is sad because you all would’ve missed the newest member to join a select group of female celebrities who have no idea how scared they should be that I find them attractive. Meet Carla Gugino. Even if you don’t know her name you’ve probably seen her in movies and TV. Karen Sisco, Sky Kids, Night At the Museum, Watchmen, Californiacation, Sucker Punch, and Entourage. And she has no problem whatsoever getting butt booty ass naked! How cool is that?! She survived being born in Florida and moved to Los Angeles until starting a modeling career at the age of 15.

In Sin City she plays Marv’s therapist. He of course was played by Bad Ass Mofo Mickey Rourke and she was actually on set with him and lived to make another movie. In that movie she spent a good amount of time walking around in black floss disguised as a thong. In Watchmen as Sally Jupiter she gets attacked by The Comedian and tells her daughter about it and she’s all like “It was a different time. You’ll understand one day…” Even as an old ass lady I’d wreck it. Hey! This is my blog and I can be as horrifying as I want! Look at her underwater. I know what I look like wet and its not nearly as sexy as this. And she's wearing tiny pannies! This is the censored version of this by the way. The other version is very nipply. Yes, that is a word no matter what my spell check says.

"Yeah later you'll dig this."

The thing I love about writing these is that when I cant remember someone’s name I do after doing these. And it gives me the chance to look at a bunch of hot ass pictures of people. She is 40 years old and looks like this. By the time she is 50 making eye contact with her will be impossible on account of the hotness that radiates from her. I was about to talk about how pissed I am they still haven’t made a sequel to Sin City but if you know that movie then you know she couldn’t be in it anyway. Yeah. Turns out bullets hurt. You know what? I might end up doing another Fap File with Gugino. There are way too many hot pictures of her for me to just do this one blog about her.