Thursday, June 8, 2017

Theater Whore: Wonder Woman


Wonder Woman 5/10

I decided to watch Wonder Woman despite saying I wouldn't. If you've read my movie reviews this is not something new. I tend to shit on movies and end up watching them. This movie has such a simple premise that it makes no sense to say there will be spoilers. It also has a lot of actors that I won't bother naming because there are a lot of “that guy from that film” character actors in this. The story is pretty much Wonder Woman, aka Princess Diana, played by Gal Gadot leaves Themyscira after a plane carrying Trevor Rogers played by Chris Pine lands there. She saves his ass and then leaves with him to see the world and kill ze Germans.


This all takes place during World War 1 but before all that the movie begins with an armored truck from Wayne Enterprises shows up and delivers a case to Diana. This took place in Batman V Superman. Its a photo of her time during the war which means this entire movie is a flashback. Kinda sucks because since we know her ass is okay well into the 2000's we know she is not going to die so that removes any sense of danger. That also mean I really have to care about these characters which I didn't. Not really. Like I said, the supporting characters were just soldiers that I knew from other movies and Amazons that were tough women of different ethnicities that were killed by bullets. I was pissed about that by the way. But not Wonder Woman! She is bullet proof.

Sometimes.

I also have to point out that the little girl, not the teen version, of Wonder Woman was horrible. I have a thing about bad child actors and this little girl was just terrible! I was like “Just wave to the camera!” I know it sounds like I hated this movie but I didn't. It is not a terrible film. Its just not as good as I was hoping and I had close to zero hope for this. Wonder Woman is my favorite female comic book character (click here, here, and here to check out Wonder Woman stuff I've made) and I just want an awesome film version of her or at least a TV show. Is this better than Batman V Superman or Man Of Steel (which gets worse for me after reviewing)? Yeah. But that isn't difficult. A coffee fueled shit is better than those. But this turned into those films at the end. It was such a confusing mass of chaos. The villains were comic book villains in the worst way. Every scene with them was like some movie I would never want to watch.


I'm not looking forward to a sequel or any of the other films connected with this one since its just been a weird convoluted mess from the start. Gadot is fine as Wonder Woman. Pine is...Pine as Trevor. There was just nothing that stood out about this and nothing that made me hate it. Mostly meh about the whole thing really.

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