Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Review: Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers is the movie Koko and I were supposed to watch a few weeks ago when we accidentally watched Spring Break from the 1980's. This is a very (spring break...) different movie. This is the tale of a director that wanted to have as many nude girls that looked 13 as possible on film. Koko enjoyed this film while I only liked the parts where James Franco was on screen as the rapper/drug dealer named Alien. He was awesome.

This is the story of one religious (spring break...) fuck up girl and her three sociopath friends that all really want to go to spring break because life is so hard when you're a hot young White chick. Three of them decide to rob a waffle place and get enough for their trip. They go and drink, do coke, smoke weed, and end up (spring break...) arrested at a party. By the way, this movie is full of mumbling. These girls can mumble their asses off. It turns out that the one with the worst acting (spring break...) and least attractive is the directors wife. Go figure. Alien ends up bailing them out of jail because he thinks they are special.

One of these things is not like the other...

The religious chick decides that this is all too much for her after she meets a bunch of Black guys. I'm not making this up. She didn't get naked or do coke (spring break...) so whatever with her. The other three girls join Alien in robbing folks. Alien's mentor gets mad that Alien is getting money so he shoots the bad acting chick and she leaves. The last two make Alien suck gun dick and they all fall in love. They raid the super bad guys house and Alien is killed before (spring break...) it even starts. The two girls, wearing pink ski masks and bikinis kill over a dozen armed thugs without being shot one goddamn time. Then the movie ends.

If you are a fan of bright colors, loud music that is (spring break...) already dated three years later, cool camera tricks, and barely a plot, then by all means check this out. I did not like this except for when Alien was talking or waving guns around. He was good. The rest left me feeling pervy because these girls look so damned young and they wear bikinis the entire time. It is too aware of its attempt to be cool and sexy.

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