Stop It Kanye West: The Final Fight Edition

“There will be mistakes, there will be flaws in the way I communicate. Because we're human beings, we're flawed. I'm not media trained. I'm not studied in that. I'm not trying to say the right thing. I'm just trying to say exactly what I feel out of love.”

Which is why you should stop it. This is the fourth time I've written about Kanye West. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) West has been on a very public downward spiral for years now which has seemed to amplify in recent weeks. I started this off with a quote from him stating that he is not media trained because he is using it as an excuse for his behavior. Everything he says is covered by an excuse, or if you wanna be politically correct, a reason. It is because of drug use. It is because of stress. It is because he was scared. It is because his mother died. It is because of you, the public.

Stop It: Tyrese Gibson

For all the things I can think of that my father has done to embarrass me in my life the one thing I can say he has never done is cry on the internet. There is no footage of this. Know who can't say that? Tyrese Gibson's daughter Shayla. Holy shit, this dude is falling apart at an alarming rate. Or maybe not so alarming and not so surprising when you think about it. I have been following all of his escapades online and in court because I have close to no life. If I did any less it would be called haunting so I have the time and love of nonsense to keep up with this fool and his shenanigans.

Stop it: Lena Dunham

When I first heard about this Lena Dunham story I told myself to wait a little bit because I knew that an apology would be coming up soon. For those that do not know who Dunham is she is a woman that I only pay attention to when her name is trending for some silly shit or when someone asks if I watched her series. This current situation involved New York Giants player Odell Beckham Jr. and a not interaction she had with him at the Met Ball. Here is what she recklessly posted.

"I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, 'That's a marshmallow. That's a child. That's a dog.' It wasn't mean - he just seemed confused. The vibe was very much like, 'Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a...yep, it's wearing a tuxedo. I'm going to go back to my cell phone.' It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, 'This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes.'"

Stop It Katt Williams

I was going to say that for what seems like the last few years that comedian Katt Williams was losing his shit. Then I looked at a time line of all of his interactions with the law and drama and realized that none of what he's been doing should shock me at all. I was sitting here thinking that his apparent downward spiral had been in the last two years maybe. Nope. Here is a rough time line of his nonsense. I'm sure I'll leave some stuff out.

In November 2006 he was arrested after a stolen gun was found in his briefcase at LAX. He spent three years in jail and was given three years probation.

In 2008 he moved with his kids, eight in total with seven being adopted, and had to fight a nanny for custody of one of his daughters. How that happens, I don't know.

Stop It Chris Brown

Chris Brown is a messy bitch. He recently inserted himself into a discussion that was happening online. It is not lost on me that I am now inserting myself. Shut up using logic at me. While on Twitter I saw a hashtag that was Kehlani Parrish that kept popping up. I had no idea what a Kehlani was. As far as I know she is a performer of songs. I guess. The fast version is that she is dating an NBA player named Kyrie Irving and she posted an image that seemed to show that she was cheating with some other human named Party Next Door. The internet lost its collective shit on her.

Fast forward to the next day and the new hashtag of #PrayForKehlani shows up. I was like "The hell happened when I went to sleep?!" Turns out that Kehlani decided to take her life over being so distraught. "I am severely utterly in love with my first love [Party Next Door]. Went thru a bad breakup and ended up easing into a relationship with a man who was one of my best friend [Irving]. Tho we realized we both weren't exactly at a time where we were prepared to do so. No, I'm not a cheater...I'm a believer in following your heart and not lying to yourself."

Stop It Stacey Dash

Stacey Dash is one of those people that I like to look at but have no real need to hear her speak. I try to avoid it but sometimes things reach through the air like a physical fart and assault me. All I know about Dash is she looks great for her age, was hot in Clueless, sounds uglier than she actually is, been married and divorced three times in ten years, and tends to say silly shit that garners my attention. Don't ask me what work she has done the last couple of decades because I can't tell you. She's hot (absolutely do not agree with her new hairstyle) but says stuff that an ugly chick would get chased for.

“We have to make up our minds. Either we want to have segregation or integration, and if we don't want segregation, then we have to get rid of channels like BET and the BET Awards and the Image Awards, where you're only awarded if you're black. If it were the other way around, we'd be up in arms. It's a double standard. There shouldn't be a black history month. We're Americans, period.” Somebody better tell her that Iggy Azalea was nominated for an award. She isn't Black so...yeah. Oh. And Macklemore.

Stop It Azealia Banks

Do you know rapper Azealia Banks? Most people don't. They probably think she is some sort of activist or something that just randomly pops up in the news upset or crying about something. I never knew she existed until one day H. showed me a music video for the song 212. I liked the beat, the lyrics, and the way Banks was built. Seriously. This girl is cute as fuck. But...she needs to stop it. I want to like her more for her music than her smooth skin, crazy eyes that scream no second date, legs that look like they taste like a Skor bar, and ability to look like she got attacked by the wind and survived on gut instincts. But the shit that comes out of her mouth makes her seem like an ugly person. There's nothing worse when a hot chick adopts ugly privileges.

Pewn pewn pewn pewn!

She is currently being talked about not for a new song or anything but because she flipped out on a Delta Airlines flight that just landed here in Los Angeles. It is being reported by passengers that she tried to squeeze by others to get off the plane faster when a French dude got in her way. She then spit in his face, clawed at his shirt, and punched him because he had a French accent and she figured no physical retribution would take place. A flight attendant tried to help and got called a “fucking faggot” for his efforts. She was told cops were on the way and she boogied because in L.A when you hear that it translate to “death is coming.” They caught up to her in baggage claim but as of right now no charges have been filed. Here's footage of her trying to escape.

Stop It Kelly Osbourne

We live in a world where in one moment something you say can spread to thousands or millions of people and once you say it it can not be taken back. Back during the Oscars Giuliana Rancic made a comment about this young actress/singer named Zendaya in regards to a style of dreads she had. By the way, they were the cleanest looking dreads I've ever seen. She said “I feel like she smells like pachouli oil” and someone else chimed in “or weed.” Yeah. I know. I bring this story up because immediately Kelly Osbourne jumped down the throat of Rancic on Twitter. I will not change any of the spelling. Wallow in the ignorance and lack of spell check.

“Im giving everyone involved 24 hours to make it right or the world will hear how I really feel. contactually Im not allowed to speak! I DID NOT MAKE THE WEED COMENT. I DO NOT CONDONE RACISM SO AS A RSULT OF THIS IM SEREIOULSY QUESTIONONIG STAYING ON THE SHOW!” She was ready to quit this fashion commentary show because of what Rancic said about someone she knew. 

Stop It Tyga

Michael Ray Nguyen-Stevenson aka Tyga is a rapper. I guess. He is 25 years old and fucking a teenager. Now, I know that when people are well known (even though many of you reading this are wondering who the hell this guy with tattoos he'll regret in five years is) they can and will fuck people that are illegal for them to be dating and creepy for them to even know. Hell, I barely even know anyone in their 20's.

The 17 year old he is dating (even though he won't say it but got her name tattooed on his arm) is named Kylie Jenner. You may know her as a girl on Instagram. Or Kim Kardashian's younger sister/inspiration for the Kylie Jenner Challenge that I wrote about. And she is 17 years old. And he is 25. And he has a child. Not with her though. A chick named Blac Chyna that is known for...well.

Stop It KimYe: Ultra C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker Edition

I don't like Kanye West anymore. I've written about him in the past (click here for that). For the longest time I would just say that he is a shitty rapper and great producer. But it got to the point where I was skipping his verses in songs. No one is gonna tell him that he sucks because he makes good beats for them. He just likes to be in the songs as well and just stinks 'em up.

On my gossip column Nothing But Gossip I talk about Kanye and his wife Kim Kardashian a lot. Why? Because they do a lot of dumb shit publicly and since I like writing about nonsense I write about them. I thought that only one of them had been silly until I woke up to more information. Let me start with Kanye. On the Grammy's last night he got upset that Beyoncé did not win and the award for best album went to Beck. Yes. He did this before with Taylor Swift years ago giving people a glimpse into the world of this asshole. This is a combination of a few interviews from last night.

Stop It: Gwenyth Paltrow

Are you planning on getting a divorce? Have you already divorced? Shame on you. Its all about that thing called “consciously uncoupling” because regular divorces are for your mortals, not for people like Gwyneth Paltrow. She and her soon to be ex husband lead singer of Coldplay Chris Martin released a statement that has angered many people but just managed to make me roll my eyes so hard that I was able to see my brain, read my thoughts, and express my annoyance through text. Here is what she posted on her blog.

“It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,
Gwyneth & Chris”

I will assume Chris didn't write a single word of this. I have heard his music. He is better than this. I love how when famous people split they say that they will remain best friends and that everything is great...except for the fact that something happened that was so bad that they can't stand to be in the same home together.

Stop It Justin Bieber: The Reckoning Turbo Edition

Dashuh sent me an article talking about a petition that was started to get Justin Bieber the fuck out of the U.S. It takes I believe 70,000 to force the president to look at it and this has over 100,000 so far. Not to say that it will be taken under serious consideration but its crazy that this is a real thing. If this was put to a vote I for sure vote to have him removed. It would be nice to know I played a part in that.

“We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.”

This was posted on the heels of his arrest in Florida that involved charges of drag racing, DUI, drugs, and resisting arrest. Then just the other day he turned himself in while in Toronto for an assault on a limousine driver. At first they said it was his security that did the beating but witnesses say that Bieber was also involved in the attack. I've written a Stop It Justin Bieber post before but I think it was premature. He's done a lot more dumb shit since then. Here is a taste of how Bieber spent 2013. None of these are made up by the way.

Stop It Madonna

You know that thing that people do now when they fuck up huge and instead of just saying that they made a mistake and are ignorant as fuck they go on the offensive? I was just talking to my friend about this. No one wants to admit they loss or made a mistake. This time it was Madonna. This crazy old lady has been on a downward spiral for over ten years now and it is culminating with her use of the n-word to describe her son, Rocco.

After she said this bullshit she got pissed that people were getting upset by it by saying “Ok let me start this again. #get off of my dick haters!” This is a 55 year old woman saying this to people who are understandably upset by what she posted to millions of people. I'm not saying that she shouldn't support her son. But did she really need to refer to her not Black son as “disnigga”? No. She didn't. Then she did the thing people do now. They rage against people raging at them, their people get to them (meaning sponsors and such), and then they have an epiphany.

“I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N-word on Instagram. It was not meant as a racial slur. I am not a racist. There's no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention. It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me.” 

Stop It Miley Cyrus: Emergency Championship Edition 2 Electric Bugaloo

Yes, I have to do another ones of these (click here for the first one). This is almost an emergency intervention going out to not just Miley Cyrus but all the girls out there that are twerking when they know good and damn well they shouldn't. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they don't see how strange it is for them to be doing this dance that when in the proper hands (meaning ass) looks amazing. I mean, I know that some people think its gross and you are entitled to be wrong. As a human being you are free to not appreciate how incredible ass is to me and millions of other men.

Y'all keep reading. I'll be here a minute.

You don't have to have a big ass to twerk. But you have to have...something. Miley has nothing. There have been pictures posted of just her ass from the MTV Video Music Awards recently where she “danced” and “sang” with Robin Thicke. If she bent over in front of me like that suddenly I would have run so fast that I would've pulled everyone out the room with me from the vacuum created by my speed. Watching her dance looks kinda like when a young boy dances like a girl. You know what I'm talking about. Those little boys that you know are gonna be gay even though they aren't even old enough to start liking girls yet. But you know. They gay. Seeing her move like a woman just creeps me out.

Stop It Justin Bieber

You ever have one of those things in your life where you cant remember what life was like before it. You can fall in love and not recall your world before it. For some its a war. Others it’s a death in the family. For me its Justin Bieber. I cant really recall what it was like to live without this asshole invading every news source that I read and listen to. This isn’t my normal hating that I get accused of which I will openly admit to. I am a total hater but that is mostly towards men that women love that I can never look like. I would never want to look like Bieber but I would love to powerbomb him through a flaming table just once. 

When this little girl first came out I knew it was gonna be bad. When girls are young they like guys that look like them. He’s as smooth as a Anne Rice vampire and is not threatening no matter how hard he tries to be. The people he rolls with can be but more on that later. This is a 19 year old kid from Canada that acts like he is from the baddest borough in Brooklyn. He’s not. He’s a kid that got famous thanks to Youtube. One of the worst things about people like him is that he will say something and his fans will jump right on board with whatever he states like his belief that abortion is “like killing a baby.” If only his mother who was 17 when she had him believed the opposite. 

Stop It Kanye West

I really struggled with writing this one. I have liked Kanye West for quite some time now. He’s a talented producer and has created some really good beats. Yeah, I’m fully aware that he raps over these beats but this guy is not a good rapper. The funny thing about his last album is that he is usually the worst part of the song. Whenever he says that he is one of the best rappers of all time I think “Yeah, if this was the year 2 A.D.” You know that thing when you keep giving someone a chance and they keep fucking it up with their behavior? That’s the definition of this guy and he needs to stop it.

Happy happy, joy joy.

He walks around with a perpetual “someone farted in church” face. He never looks happy and when he does its when he thinks he just said something incredible. For someone that has millions of dollars, worldwide recognition, and got a woman who was voted the most beautiful or hot woman in the world multiple times he sure doesn’t seem happy. And let’s talk about his baby mama for a minute, Kim Kardashian.

Stop It Jennifer Aniston

People like Jennifer Aniston. Men like her. Women love her. Hollywood likes her. I don’t. Never have. I have never found her funny, attractive, or seen her in a role that made me go “Wow, give that woman an Oscar!” Now, she isn’t dislikable in the way that Gwyneth Paltrow is where she says a lot of dumb shit and has total bitchface. But she comes across like someone that tries way too hard to be liked by people. Even when she says she isn’t she does. And she needs to stop it.

There are certain things that Aniston is known for. Being married to Brad Pitt from 200 to 2005, being on the show Friends, dating the biggest manwhores in Hollywood, and not seemingly being able to get over Pitt leaving her for Angelina Jolie. There were a whole string of relationships she had with guys like Adam Duritz, Vince Vaughn, Gerard Butler, and John Mayer. The last two guys do nothing but fuck women…and perform.

Stop It M. Knight Shyamalan

M Knight Shyamalan is a pompous asshole. That's pretty much how I feel about the guy. For years he was able to crank out some good movies. Its weird when I even write that. M Knight used to make good movies. There was The Sixth Sense of course. Then he did Unbreakable which is the best superhero movie where they refuse to say out loud that its a superhero movie. And then there's Signs which a lot of people say isn't good because the aliens that are killed by water land on Earth which is mostly water. You know what? People still drown! Water ain't new so lay off the ignorant ass aliens!

If that's the biggest problem you have with the movie then it ain't all bad. You know what yanked me right the hell out of the movie? The fact that M Knight actually put himself in the movie. This Indian dude living in the middle of Buttfuck, Arkansas that kills Mel Gibson's wife with his car made my brain power down for a moment. Yes, I know that Indians live everywhere but the way that town looked it seemed like the kind of place that would chase anyone not White out. Okay, I'm done.

Stop It Lil Kim

I was watching a show the other day and they popped up and image of Miley Cyrus and Lil Kim at a club looking eleven kinds of strange. Besides the way they both look, what puzzled me was my junk. It said to me “Dante, at some point you were physically attracted to this woman. How come not now why?” Yes, my penis talks like a two year old that was drop on its head during birth. At one time Lil Kim was cute. Not a bombshell or anything but she was a cute chick. I present to you exhibit A!

Look at her. Normal. Her breasts weren’t the size of melons. Her eyes were fine. Her lips didn’t make her look like a meth’d out duck. It all started when Puff Daddy Diddy Sean Combs gave her some exercise equipment for a gift. She thought she was overweight and decided to work out. Which was fine. You feel doughy, do something about that. I get it. But then she went and got some cheek and jaw work. Which is also what I call oral sex. Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

Stop It Nicki Minaj

You ever hear a musician or band that a lot of people like and you ask yourself “Is it just me or does this music suck?” Millions of people will buy their songs and pay good money to go to a concert and you slowly start to go crazy because its like you’re living your own personal version of They Live. You run around trying to get everyone to put on the glasses and next thing you know you’re fighting your best friend in an alley. To me, Nicki Minaj is the alien that no one else can see.

Nope. Nothing to see here. Just a normal musician...

I know that someone reading this is calling me a hater and they should stop because that term is old as hell. I remember when I first heard Minaj and I almost kicked my stereo in the face. “What is this audio abortion?! Egads! My ears! They bleed!” She does this weird thing where she talks all sweet and cute which I already hate and suddenly transforms into an enraged version of Sloth from Goonies. I’m sure it scares the children. You remember those cute little aliens in Galaxy Quest? Its like that. But worse. There is nothing hotter than a woman that can go from Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls to Batman in three seconds.