Stop It Miley Cyrus: Emergency Championship Edition 2 Electric Bugaloo

Yes, I have to do another ones of these (click here for the first one). This is almost an emergency intervention going out to not just Miley Cyrus but all the girls out there that are twerking when they know good and damn well they shouldn't. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they don't see how strange it is for them to be doing this dance that when in the proper hands (meaning ass) looks amazing. I mean, I know that some people think its gross and you are entitled to be wrong. As a human being you are free to not appreciate how incredible ass is to me and millions of other men.

Y'all keep reading. I'll be here a minute.

You don't have to have a big ass to twerk. But you have to have...something. Miley has nothing. There have been pictures posted of just her ass from the MTV Video Music Awards recently where she “danced” and “sang” with Robin Thicke. If she bent over in front of me like that suddenly I would have run so fast that I would've pulled everyone out the room with me from the vacuum created by my speed. Watching her dance looks kinda like when a young boy dances like a girl. You know what I'm talking about. Those little boys that you know are gonna be gay even though they aren't even old enough to start liking girls yet. But you know. They gay. Seeing her move like a woman just creeps me out.

Hot Hillbilly Arrested

Let me start off by saying that I have never seen the show Buckwild on MTV. For starters I haven’t had cable in years. There’s also the fact that when I did have it that channel was near the bottom of must see TV. I’ve heard clips and reviews for it and its not something I’d ever actively watch. But I do have to say that there’s this Bengali chick named Salwa Amin on the show that is stupid hot. Why am I even writing about her? Because she got arrested.

The show is taped in West Virginia which is like Florida-Lite and she got popped for possession of oxycodone and heroin possession with the intent to deliver. That last part will make any sentence she gets even harsher…if she wasn’t known. We know famous people don’t do real jail time. Looking at you, Lindsay Lohan. I already know that some of you are saying “I’ve never heard of her. She’s not famous?”