Everything You Need To Know About The Kardashian's

Everyone knows who the Kardashian's are. Even when you pretend to not know you know you know who they are. At least one of them. I like this family the same way I like watching Fail Blog videos online. No matter how much I think I know where its gonna end it ends up somewhere far worse and hilarious. I am going to try and give you all a lesson on who these people are and why they are famous because people tend to ask why. After reading this you will be able to have interesting conversations at gatherings that don't end in arguments. Seriously. As silly as this shit may be it is far more interesting than your political views and talking about your wack ass job. We don't know your coworkers! I'll start with the man that got this party started.

Stop It KimYe: Ultra C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker Edition

I don't like Kanye West anymore. I've written about him in the past (click here for that). For the longest time I would just say that he is a shitty rapper and great producer. But it got to the point where I was skipping his verses in songs. No one is gonna tell him that he sucks because he makes good beats for them. He just likes to be in the songs as well and just stinks 'em up.

On my gossip column Nothing But Gossip I talk about Kanye and his wife Kim Kardashian a lot. Why? Because they do a lot of dumb shit publicly and since I like writing about nonsense I write about them. I thought that only one of them had been silly until I woke up to more information. Let me start with Kanye. On the Grammy's last night he got upset that Beyoncé did not win and the award for best album went to Beck. Yes. He did this before with Taylor Swift years ago giving people a glimpse into the world of this asshole. This is a combination of a few interviews from last night.

Konversation About Kim & Kanye

I am joined by fellow gossip lover Christina for this talk. Thanks for helping, babe! And for letting me yell at Wendy Williams outfits and wigs everyday.

Christina: So the pictures are fake of North? 

Dante: Yeah, those pictures are supposed to be fake. Some are saying she sent fake ones to people to see who would leak them.

Christina: Ah ha ha. Go head Kim Kardashian. Well we will soon see what she looks like because Kanye West is too flashy.

Dante: They are being offered two million for pictures.

Christina: They will take it. You know why? Because Beyonce put out a picture of her and Blue I think a week after Blue was born. Ah ha ha. They want to be a couple like them so bad. Po’ couple. They will never be like them.

Stop It Kanye West

I really struggled with writing this one. I have liked Kanye West for quite some time now. He’s a talented producer and has created some really good beats. Yeah, I’m fully aware that he raps over these beats but this guy is not a good rapper. The funny thing about his last album is that he is usually the worst part of the song. Whenever he says that he is one of the best rappers of all time I think “Yeah, if this was the year 2 A.D.” You know that thing when you keep giving someone a chance and they keep fucking it up with their behavior? That’s the definition of this guy and he needs to stop it.

Happy happy, joy joy.

He walks around with a perpetual “someone farted in church” face. He never looks happy and when he does its when he thinks he just said something incredible. For someone that has millions of dollars, worldwide recognition, and got a woman who was voted the most beautiful or hot woman in the world multiple times he sure doesn’t seem happy. And let’s talk about his baby mama for a minute, Kim Kardashian.

Ray J Is A Dick

Ray J sucks. I don't even know what to call him exactly. He's not a rapper and he's not a singer. He's that weird shit that's been around for a while now that sing their raps and rap their singing. It sucks but chicks love that stuff and guys want to be like these dudes. I don't understand it and probably never will. I'm too damned old to learn new things. Ray J has a new “song” called “I Hit It First.” There has been a lot of talk about the song, not because it is any good, which it isn't, but because Ray J wants attention.

The image he wont admit the cover is based off of.

“I mean a lot of people saying a lot of different things about the record. For me, the record is self-explanatory. Like I tell everybody, I’m not trying to put fuel on the fire. You know what I’m saying? We just want people to enjoy the record. It’s more so about me than anybody else” he lied during an interview. “I don’t think nobody should be upset about something that really happened. I think when people do music everybody talks about they life and what they go through. This just my chapter and I think people need to look at it like that and don’t look at it for nothing more than that.”

Ray J is pretending we were all born yesterday and saying the song isn't about his former sex doll Kim Kardashian. For those of you that don't know Ray J and Kim dated years ago and had a sex tape. I have seen it and it sucks. He wont shut his damned mouth much like many other Black dudes filming themselves fucking. Click here to read me bitching about that. Other than that he is known for a shitty show on VH1 and before that for being the younger brother of singer and killer Brandy.

The Rant Zone Show 1

“It’s sad when you can make a vampire sad because vampires tend to be very sad people.”

In the very first episode of The Rant Zone I talk about the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars which includes Snooki, Kristen Stewart pretending to be sexy, Bert and Ernie being gay puppets…or not, the new Nas and Common video that makes pants tight, Sharon Stone being stalked, Kim Kardashian bitching, Flavor Flav and Dee Snider on Celebrity Wife Swap, a live action Hong Kong Fooey film, and the top ten movies of the weekend. Click here to download The Rant Zone.