Stop It Nicki Minaj

You ever hear a musician or band that a lot of people like and you ask yourself “Is it just me or does this music suck?” Millions of people will buy their songs and pay good money to go to a concert and you slowly start to go crazy because its like you’re living your own personal version of They Live. You run around trying to get everyone to put on the glasses and next thing you know you’re fighting your best friend in an alley. To me, Nicki Minaj is the alien that no one else can see.

Nope. Nothing to see here. Just a normal musician...

I know that someone reading this is calling me a hater and they should stop because that term is old as hell. I remember when I first heard Minaj and I almost kicked my stereo in the face. “What is this audio abortion?! Egads! My ears! They bleed!” She does this weird thing where she talks all sweet and cute which I already hate and suddenly transforms into an enraged version of Sloth from Goonies. I’m sure it scares the children. You remember those cute little aliens in Galaxy Quest? Its like that. But worse. There is nothing hotter than a woman that can go from Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls to Batman in three seconds.

"I'm gonna hug and squeeze and love you then I'll KILLMUTHAFUCKASRARARARARARARARARAR!!!"

Another thing she is known for is her ass. I admit at certain angles it’s a very nice ass…if you like lies! That’s right, its not even real. Google it, bitches. I have seen pictures of her from a few years ago and her ass wasn’t even half the size it is. Unless it managed to Popeye up and get large she can thank a surgeon for most of her career. I don’t mind cosmetic surgery. Fake boobs, false teeth, breast reduction, hell even getting that honked up surgery to make your legs longer. But I draw the goddamn line at fake ass!

Lie! All lies!!!

Before she went all War Of The Worlds on her face she was actually very cute. Her body was nice. Her face was normal. She was the kinda girl you could take home to your mother. Now she’s the kinda girl you would take to a priest. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m not spending more time talking about her music. Hey, when she starts spending more time on her music then I will. She, like other musicians are getting by on their looks. She’s a judge on American Idol this year and from what I know of that show its based on talent. So how come she there?!

Because the producer woke up with this standing over him.

I just want her to go away for a few years and come back looking normal and with a new style. We’ve seen what happens to chicks like her. No, not Lady Gaga or Katy Perry because even though they dress crazy they have some form or musical talent. Remember Lil Kim? Yeah. She used to be cute as fuck. Now she looks like a Black Milton Berle. Stop fucking with your body, find some friends that tell you that you can do better, and stop having your ass lie to my manparts.

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