Babbling Old Man: Bio Zombie

Beast Man and H. recommended that I watch this movie from the late 90’s made in China called Bio Zombie. Its about these two losers named Woody Invincible who is the smarter one I guess and Crazy Bee. They hang out at the mall fucking with different people when they’re not at work at the video store. Elsewhere these government agents are buying chemicals to make bio monsters for…I don’t know why they’re doing it. It’s a terrible idea.

Woody and Crazy Bee end up hitting an agent that has the chemicals and he asks for a soda, which the chemical looks like, and they give it to him and toss him in the trunk. He later gets out and starts turning everyone into zombies including the nice guy who likes this chick Rolls who was attacked by Woody and Crazy Bee when they stole her ring for cash.

"It's just a flesh wound..."

As they are in the mall stuck and gathering more people to try and get out it made me think of all my friends and people that think they’re my friends and how they would react in a zombie situation. The outlook was not good. I have friends that are afraid of bugs let alone bloodthirsty creatures. So there’s the two guys, two chicks, and a couple where the guy is a total dick to his wife. I wanted him to die so damned bad! They arm up and get ready to fight. They show these funny gaming type montages of each character and their skill level.

I want to see this on people in real life.

So they fight some cops that tried to arrest them, the sushi guy who is a zombie now who is helpful at times, and a bunch of other people who apparently didn’t know that the mall was closing and decided to just hang out. Weirdoes. Crazy Bee ends up getting bitten trying to save the asshole guys wife. And you know what? Like a true friend he doesn’t try and hide it. He dies a hero.

Thank you for being a friend...

They fight their way out, Rolls and Woody, with the help of sushi boy zombie and make it to a gas station. Then the fucking chick takes a swig from the zombie juice and so does Woody then the movie ends. Damn it! This was a silly ass movie but good. Not too gory and some funny parts. But in all seriousness, pick your friends well when you fight zombies.

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