M Knight Shyamalan is a pompous asshole. That's pretty much how I feel about the guy. For years he was able to crank out some good movies. Its weird when I even write that. M Knight used to make good movies. There was The Sixth Sense of course. Then he did Unbreakable which is the best superhero movie where they refuse to say out loud that its a superhero movie. And then there's Signs which a lot of people say isn't good because the aliens that are killed by water land on Earth which is mostly water. You know what? People still drown! Water ain't new so lay off the ignorant ass aliens!
If
that's the biggest problem you have with the movie then it ain't all
bad. You know what yanked me right the hell out of the movie? The
fact that M Knight actually put himself in the movie. This Indian
dude living in the middle of Buttfuck, Arkansas that kills Mel
Gibson's wife with his car made my brain power down for a moment.
Yes, I know that Indians live everywhere but the way that town looked
it seemed like the kind of place that would chase anyone not White
out. Okay, I'm done.
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| They're all shocked that you're actually watching The Village. |
And then came the pile of stinkers. He did The Village which actually made me leave the theater ready to beat the world with my dick. Like literally I wanted to whip it out and beat people upon the head area out of nonsensical rage. But I kinda forgave him because he had started off with three good films. Then The Happening happened and I was furious. How could someone make such a terrible ass film and nobody pull him aside and tell him?! I flat out refused to see The Last Airbender. There is no way this man was gonna steal another minute of my life!
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| Me after The Happening. |
Now
he has a new movie coming out called After Earth starring Will Smith
and his son. When I went and saw Jack Reacher with East I told her
“There is something about this that bothers me...” My
Spider-sense was tingling the entire trailer and I couldn't figure
out why. Afterward she checked online to see who directed it and sure
enough it was M Knight! We are now at the point where they are hiding
his name to trick us into seeing his shit! He wrote, directed, and
produced this yet they left his name out of the trailer and poster!
Nice try, sir!
 |
| Almost got me! |
When I think of M Knight I think of two things now: weak ass ending and of course the twist! There is nothing I cant stand more than a weak ending to a story but a close second is a twist that pulls me out of a film. And I didn't even mention the fact that he loves to put himself in movies. Sometimes its a small part but other times its one of the most important people in the world like with Lady In The Water which was complete gar-bage (pronounced gahr-baahj).
I
wish he would stop making movies. Hell, let him stop writing them
while we're at it. He's just not good anymore. He did a great job
with his first few films and if he had stopped there I would've been
fine. But to keep pumping out crap film after crap film damn near
ruins the first ones. And you can just picture him finishing one of
his stories, leaning back in his chair, and smiling to himself
thinking he just wrote the world's next best tale. Stop it, M Knight
Shyamalan.
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| Or make more of this. |
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