Dante's Most Evil Villains Of Television

The other day I was thinking about some of my favorite TV shows. It turns out that what made me like these shows were the bad guys. Of course I like the heroes but a hero with a crappy villain is barely worth watching. This is one of the reasons I'm not a huge fan of Superman. His villains are just strong and every time he battles it just becomes a punchfest. Why hasn't Batman ever taught that man some karate?

I decided to whip up a list of some of my favorite villains from TV shows. With each I will use my favorite line from them and explain why they are just so damned evil. Surprisingly many of them are women, which is weird because woman are some of the nicest beings on the planet. I said that with my eyebrow raised so sarcastically high it actually caused my left eyeball to dislodge.

Nina Myers of 24

“He is gonna put a bullet in my head before I can say hello, and then he'll turn the gun on himself.”

Nina Myers was one of the main reasons I watched the series 24. She had an affair with Kiefer Sutherland's character Jack Bauer, killed his wife, and eventually turned bad working as a double agent selling blueprints of CTU so it could be bombed. This woman would run with the world's most dangerous people and showed absolutely no fear when around them. Even when she was captured she was all kinds of not giving a single fuck. When they were torturing her they pulled a needle and she jerked her neck causing it to stab her in the neck almost killing herself. She was like a wolf with its leg caught in a trap. When she was finally killed I stopped caring about the show as much.

Jim Moriarty of Sherlock

“Kill you? Um, no. Don't be obvious I mean, I'm gonna kill you anyway, someday. I don't want to rush it though. I'm saving it up for something special! No no no no no, if you don't stop prying...I'll burn you. I will burn...the heart out of you.”

If you have not seen this show you should probably not read this unless spoilers don't bother you. Still here? Okay. When Moriarty shows up it is fucking terrifying. Well, not at first. He is not even mentioned and when someone is even about to say his name they are shot dead. Instantly. When he appears and gives a strange “Hi...” to Holmes you immediately know that there is something off about him. What is scary about him is not his appearance. He looks very unassuming. What makes this guy crazier than a box full of herpes is that he does it to stave off boredom. Hobbies, people. Hobbies.

Vern Schillinger of Oz

“You lose an eye, you get kicked in the balls, you get a face full of shit, you become a different man.”

As the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood in Oswald State Penitentiary, Vern was one of the worst bastards in a prison full of murderers and rapist. Yes, he was also each of those things plus racist so that adds that extra bit of zing to his evilness. Locked up for beating a Black drug dealer to death with a crowbar he runs the White crew and habitually rapes prisoners while at the same time maintaining a very unhealthy amount of homophobia. When raping a mentally retarded man and burning a swastika into someones ass with a cigarette are some of the least terrible things you've done you're an evil son of a bitch.

Alice Morgan of Luther

“And you think I'm the monster. Love is supposed to dignify us, exalt us. How can it be love, John, if all it does is make you lonely and corrupt?”

This woman was evil, crazy, and ridiculously smart. This woman murders her family and damn near gets away with it until Luther discovers that she is off kilter because she didn't yawn. She ends up getting away with it and starts to “help” Luther by threatening to kill his ex wife and having her new boyfriend jumped by teenage girls and filming it. Luther ends up helping her break out of the looney bin and she helps him just to say mean, crazy shit to him. But she's hot so she gets a pass. Them's the rules.

Cersei Lannister of Game Of Thrones

“If you don't like her, you only need to see her on formal occasions, and when the time comes to make little princes and princesses and if you'd rather fuck painted whores, you'll fuck painted whores. And if you'd rather lie with noble virgins, so be it. You are my darling boy, and the world will be exactly as you want it to be.”

This woman has no good qualities...except her looks. Let's run down the list of things she does. She bangs her brother who is admittedly a Prince Charming lookalike. She has a kid with him, Joffrey, who is the biggest asshole on television. While waiting underground with all the womenfolk she gets wasted on wine and lets them know that they will all be raped. You know, just to comfort them. She is manipulative as fuck and her bad decisions affects hundreds of people. When you can be the most terrible person on a show where there are beheadings, zombie snow monsters, and rape fests you're doing something right. Meaning terribly wrong.