When I
first heard about this Lena Dunham story I told myself to wait a
little bit because I knew that an apology would be coming up soon.
For those that do not know who Dunham is she is a woman that I only
pay attention to when her name is trending for some silly shit or
when someone asks if I watched her series. This current situation
involved New York Giants player Odell Beckham Jr. and a not
interaction she had with him at the Met Ball. Here is what she
recklessly posted.
"I
was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because
it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of
a woman by his standards. He was like, 'That's a marshmallow. That's
a child. That's a dog.' It wasn't mean - he just seemed confused. The
vibe was very much like, 'Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing
a...yep, it's wearing a tuxedo. I'm going to go back to my cell
phone.' It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally
was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow
tie. I was like, 'This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of
Getting Rejected by Athletes.'"
Where
do I even begin? That entire statement of hers sounds like the
perfect recipe for making yourself feel like a victim and someone
else look like a total asshole at the same time. She was able to make
all of those assumptions about his taste in women and deemed herself
not to his standards. I can say from gossip and rumors that he has
been mentioned in the same sentence as Amber Rose, Zendaya, and Khloe
Kardashian. She goes from thinking he thinks she looks like a child,
a dog, asking himself if he wants to fuck "it", and then ignoring
her.
 |
| Boom. Boom. Pow. |
A few
years back you could've called her an attention whore and moved on.
But now when you say that all people read is "whore" and then it
becomes a whole 'nother issue on the promiscuity of women and their
empowerment and how they can sleep with as many men as they want and
blah blah blah. She's an attention whore. Her comments about OBJ were
either meant to be malicious or to get people to gather around her
with hugs and pillows and tell her how beautiful she really is and
who she does not need the validation of this athlete to feel
beautiful about herself.
People
lit her ass up online and she eventually issued an apology. She still
manages to keep the pity party going while also mentioning Black
issues. Its quite amazing. But you now what? Saying sorry does not
make things better. I personally hate hearing it from people because
it means that they did something fucked up to me. It has never made
me feel better to know that someone, genuine or not, feels bad about
something they did to me. Anyhoot, here is what she wrote.
"I
owe Odell Beckham Jr an apology. Despite my moments of bravado, I
struggle at industry events (and in life) with the sense that I don't
rep a certain standard of beauty and so when I show up to the Met
Ball surrounded by models and swan-like actresses it's hard not to
feel like a sack of flaming garbage. This felt especially intense
with a handsome athlete as my dinner companion and a bunch of women I
was sure he'd rather be seated with. But I went ahead and projected
these insecurities and made totally narcissistic assumptions about
what he was thinking, then presented those assumptions as facts. I
feel terrible about it. Because after listening to lots of valid
criticism, I see how unfair it is to ascribe misogynistic thoughts to
someone I don't know AT ALL. Like, we have never met, I have no idea
the kind of day he's having or what his truth is. But most
importantly, I would never intentionally contribute to a long and
often violent history of the over-sexualization of black male
bodies—as well as false accusations by white women towards black
men. I'm so sorry, particularly to OBJ, who has every right to be on
his cell phone. The fact is, I don't know (I don't know a lot of
things) and I shouldn't have acted like I did. Much love and thanks,
Lena."
I
don't even have to imagine what would have happened if a guy posted
the stuff she said regarding OBJ and the shit storm that would have
ensued. There are plenty of women that do not look like this
imaginary woman that women are chasing to look like. But to pick
someone that you know only in name and are sitting across from and
projecting all this shit on is so not the business. We all have
someone that we see from a distance or even someone close that we
have fallen for and they don't want us (I've personally experienced
this many times) but I won't go online as a celebrity and vomit it
out for hundreds of thousands of people to read as if it were an
actual incident that took place. You know people don't like reading
shit and understanding it. Hell, most people haven't even made it
this far in this blog post.
The
funniest part of all of this is if he got sent this apology and just
went "Who is this? When did this happen? Do I need a lawyer?!" We
can easily blow shit out of proportion in our heads but it is up to
us, not just as adults but as humans, to be able to distinguish
reality from fantasy or at the very least know when to shut the fuck
up or keep our thoughts to ourselves.
Another
fucked up aspect of all of this is that Beckham can't say anything
about this. Nothing except "I accept her apology." He can not say
that he didn't notice her. He can not say that he would never date
some that looked like her. If he says anything other than what the
public would want to hear the shit she has gotten would pale in
comparison. Suddenly instead of a guy caught in her crazy cross hairs
he would be an entitled, wealthy athlete. Yeah, he's Black and we are
being beaten and killed like there are cash prizes for it but there
is a victim pecking order and no matter what woman trumps any of it.
No one
will accept a Black man talking that shit about a woman let alone a
White woman publicly. He is painted into a corner where his only
option is silence and it sucks because he is going to be questioned
about this and he will have to just pretend he lost his hearing.
There is a small part of me that wants him to go off on her and it is
a feeling that a lot of Black people have. That "I wish a muthafucka would..." that is built into all of us. But I don't think he
should. That is why he is successful. He doesn't think like me.
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