The Color Purple 1/10
The funny thing about me giving this a 1/10 is that it still feels a little bit too high. L. and I watched this last weekend on a whim. I remember when I heard this was being made and scoffed. I know that the first movie (which I saw every week as a child because my parents were strange and rented it from Cal-Fal) is based off of a book (which I read a tiny bit of) and this movie is based off of the musical (which L. has seen). That being said...wow. This was super bad. I know that a lot of reviews praised this movie and that is because they don't wanna come across as racist. I'm Black. I'm gonna just come across as a asshole. Don't get me wrong. I love musicals. I just didn't like this movie. Let me explain why.
This movie starts off with Celie being the victim of her nasty ass father getting her pregnant. She has two kids and he just takes them away as soon as they are born. She has a sister named Nettie. Nettie gets hit on by this dude named Mister but ends up settling on Celie. She moves in with him, serves him and his children, and is abused. Then music. I swear that there are some heavy ass scenes that take place and next thing you know people are doing cartwheels in the street.
You know what? Fuck it. I wanna complain.
Like I said, cartwheels. The scene where Sofia confronts Celie about telling Harpo to beat her? Immediately singing. The entire town of women just start dancing and singing. There is zero time to breathe between songs and trauma. The acting is nothing to write home about (except for the girl that played young Celie she was good even though she 30). The songs were not catchy or memorable except L. and I would randomly sing “Hell no!” I just don't understand why they made this. I also don't understand how that girl turned into Ciara at the end. For some reason that shocked me more than anything else in this awful ass movie.
I am gonna forget that I even saw this a few months from now. For people thinking this should have been nominated for awards...come on, now. Be for real. I know there are a lot of Black people in this but you can't just say its good when its not just because of skin tone. Speaking of which, we know how to film Black people now. I've seen movies with Black people where you could see them. In this...not too much if they were indoors. I don't know how y'all ruined your Christmas by going out to see this trash. I don't know how a movie can be too long yet be so short of story.
Fantasia Barrino as Celie Harris-Johnson
Phylicia Pearl Mpasi as young Celie
Taraji P. Henson as Shug Avery
Danielle Brooks as Sofia
Colman Domingo as Albert "Mister" Johnson
Corey Hawkins as Harpo Johnson
Halle Bailey as Nettie Harris
Ciara as older Nettie
Louis Gossett Jr. as Ol' Mister Johnson
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