Tuesday, April 2, 2024

The Review: Barbie


Barbie 8/10


I liked this weird ass movie. I wasn't in a rush to see it in theaters because the people rushing to see it honestly. You know how you can like a musician but not the fans? Yeah. Same thing. So Barbie is living her best life in Barbieland. The Barbie's, of which there are many kind, just enjoy life doing Barbie things while the Ken's just battle for their attention. One of the Ken's is into barbie and is only happy when she is around. One day Barbie wonders out loud about death and the party stops. She plays it off but the next morning wakes up with bad breath, her food is coming out wrong, and she suddenly has flat feet which freak everyone out. They tell her to go see Weird Barbie which made me crack up because my cousin had one when we were little. Turns out almost every woman I know had some weird ass barbie that they beat up or gave bad haircuts to. I did not know this was a for real thing.



Weird Barbie tells Barbie that she needs to go to the real world and find the girl that is playing with her because that is making Barbie fall apart. I was worried at this point because I didn't know how they would try and incorporate the real world into this movie but they managed to do a crazy enough job that I just accepted it. Ken ends up stowing away in the car with her and they head to Venice Beach where Barbie starts to feel things she hasn't before. Like harassed. Ken loves all the attention. They get arrested a couple of times and the CEO of Mattel finds out that they are in the real world and that this has happened before, but never a Ken as well.



Barbie finds her owner and it is this young girl that has been in a few things I have seen and I never like her. She always plays a mean kid. The girl runs Barbie down for the standards she has placed upon women which causes her to cry. Meanwhile Ken is discovering patriarchy and loving the idea of men being in charge. It turns out that the child is not making Barbie sad, but its the girls mother that used to have Barbie. The mother saves barbie from being put back in a box and they escape to Barbieland. 



They arrive with Barbie expecting the fun land they left behind only to discover that Ken has changed everything. The women that had professions are now waitresses and handing out beers to the other Ken dolls. The mother ends up explaining to Barbie what it is like to be a women and inspires her to come up with a plan to have the Ken's battle one another while they snap all the other Barbie's out of their trance and vote to return things back to normal.



The Mattel people show up and decide to go with the mothers idea of a more realistic Barbie. Barbie meets with the lady Ruth that created Barbie (she met her earlier at the Mattel building) and they have a nice moment together. Barbie decides that she wants to be real. She is in the car with the mother, daughter, and husband and goes to what I thought was a job interview. Nope. She is going to her very first gynecological exam!



This movie was better than I expected and funnier. L. and I ended up down a Barbie rabbit hole and looking up all the strange ones that were in the background like one with a TV in her back or the one whose boobs grew when you pumped her arm. Turns out all of them were real and did terrible. I'm sure the message of this movie was lost on me. I was laughing and looking at all the pretty colors on the screen. My experience with Barbie as a kid was using my Rambo toy to repair my cousins Barbie hot tub. Not a fan of most of the songs in this but I would suggest checking this out.


Margot Robbie as Barbie

Issa Rae as President Barbie

Kate McKinnon as Weird Barbie

Ryan Gosling as Ken

Simu Liu as Tourist Ken/"Rival Ken"

John Cena as Kenmaid 

America Ferrera as Gloria

Ariana Greenblatt as Sasha 

Rhea Perlman as Ruth Handler

Helen Mirren as the voice of the narrator

Will Ferrell as the Chief executive officer (CEO) of Mattel

Michael Cera as Allan


Click here for previous The Review.

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