Frivolous Flicks 2

Vampire Academy Series 0/10

A couple of weeks ago I was looking through Peacock and saw this series. I thought it was the movie but saw that there was an entire ass series based off the book series. I saw the movie years ago and it was the first film I ever gave a 0/10 to. Well, I'm not breaking any trends because after watching just one episode of this shit I had to do the same. Now, its been years since I read these books but I know the very basics of the story still. While watching just the first few minutes of this I was so confused by what was taking place. I had to look up the story to make sure I wasn't going crazy and misremembering shit. I was not. This basically took the title of the books and characters names and said “Okay, now let's just do stuff!” The story was impossible to follow considering with so many books there is a large mythology. The acting was like some old 90's CW (before it was known as CW) shit. It was filmed so dark I know it was intentional to hide how bad the fight choreography was. I just wondered to myself “Who is this for? Not fans of the books or movie.” Surely there must have been some kind of tax write off or something to do this. Before the episode was even complete I knew that I was done and had no plans to even try to hate watch myself through this.

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The Review: M3GAN

M3GAN 8/10

This movie was crazy as fuck. Continuing our Wayward Girl Movies we watched M3GAN which from this point on I will just be writing as Megan. Cady is sitting in the backseat of the car with her bickering parents when they end up running head on into a snowplow. She ends up having to stay with her aunt Gemma who works for a toy factory making robotic stuff for kids. Cady moves in and the house is not kid friendly and neither is Gemma honestly. Gemma shows her boss and later Cady this new toy she is working on, Megan. It is very smart, bonds with one person, and is autonomous as fuck. Yeah, surely not a single thing can go wrong with this scenario! Gemma showed an old robot named Bruce to Cady which inspired her to continue working on Megan after her boss told her to stop because she was making it on the sneak.

The Review: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 8/10

I thoroughly enjoyed this weird ass movie whose title I will never remember. This was suggested when my Roku went into screen saver mode and I thought “I vaguely know about this” and recall seeing a gif from this online. You know the one.

Documentality: Stolen Youth Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence 8/10

A lot of times when I watch documentaries about mind control or cult or anything like that I think to myself “that could never be me.” A lot of times it's because everybody looks filthy and I like taking showers or they have to get weird haircuts and outfits and things like that. In this documentary Stolen Youth this could not have been me because even though I have not gone to college I could not imagine me and seven other roommates suddenly having a new roommate in the form of somebody's ex-con daddy. This is about this group of students at Sarah Lawrence College and one of the girls is like “Hey, my dad's getting out of prison you mind if he chills on the couch here?” And they all agreed that its cool! Thankfully, like with every documentary about a cult or anything like this I always look for Black people and there are none in this one.

The Review: Violent Night

Violent Night 8/10

The other film that we watched was a complete opposite of the last one. This one was called Violent Night. It came out last year and I had heard of it but thought it was a horror film. This is about Santa Claus being over kids wishing for just video games and not believing him in him anymore. Meanwhile there's this little girl named Gertrude who everyone calls Trudy who just like the last film wants her family to get back together again. The family goes to Greenwich Connecticut and meets up with her dad's family who is stinking rich. Well, Santa is at the house delivering gifts a whole ass group of mercenaries show up to steal 300 million bucks that granny is hiding. Santa impales one of these guys on the icicle after a very violent fight. In this movie Santa gets shot at, he gets cut, all kind of crazy violent things are happening and he's able to communicate with the little girl through a walkie-talkie that her father had given her. She very much still believes in Santa Claus and these mercenaries led by one calling himself Scrooge is very upset that he is being taken out by someone dressed as Santa. He also had a traumatic experience as a child dealing with Christmas time.

The Review: One Fine Christmas/A Christmas Fumble

One Fine Christmas 1/10

L. and I decided to watch some holiday movies and these two were terrible. The first was One Fine Christmas. It was about this girl who comes home from college and her mother is super busy with work and just runs around like a crazy person. Seriously, it's like I don't know why but she's constantly tweaking. The daughter has zero personality in this movie. Normally these kind of films where they have a young person they have them be precocious or there's something quirky about them or interesting but in this film the daughter is literally just a daughter. The grandmother no longer lives with her mom because they just don't get along anymore since the tweaky mother's husband left her.

The Review: Everything Everywhere All At Once

Everything Everywhere All At Once 10/10

How do I even begin to describe the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once? The basic premise is that it's about this lady who's a Chinese American immigrant who works at a laundromat with her husband they ended up coming to America and she had a daughter named Joy. She ends up going to the IRS because they're being audited and suddenly her husband begins acting like another person and tries to quickly explain to her that he is from a multiverse and that there is someone on the hunt and killing them and versions of this lady who works at the laundromat. The next thing you know there is some of the best fight choreograph choreography I've ever seen and an actual incredible story about family.

The Review: The Woman King

The Woman King 8/10

As I sit here with my feet soaking in warm water with bubbles in between my toes I realize that after watching a film like The Woman King I would not have survived that environment in real life nor the training done to do this movie. The Woman King turned out to be a far better film than I expected it to be. Not that I thought it was going to be bad or anything but I pretty much thought it was just going to be an action film with a lot of tough ass looking women and that's about it. I was very wrong. This is about a general and she leads and trains a group of women warriors from all different parts of Africa. Colonizers start arriving and she begins to realize that they are just trading their own people for more weapons and losing more and more of themselves as time goes on. The king agrees with her but he also has his evil ass wife in his ear who tries to go behind his back and make decisions because she wants to be declared the next woman king.

The Review: Black Panther Wakanda Forever

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 9/10

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever was great. I know I keep on saying how I rated the first Black Panther film way too high, but honestly I was caught up in so much of the personal hype regarding that film that I forget that the last battle scene was so not good. I also did not enjoy that they killed the villain but Marvel has gotten better at not letting every villain die at the end of their films. This one picks up six years after the blip and T'challa passes away. They don't show how which was very classy of them and I really did appreciate. So now the queen is trying to run Wakanda with people slowly trying to invade it to get some of their Vibranium. Meanwhile Shuri is upset that she was not able to save her brother so she is just burying herself in work.

The Review: The Menu

The Menu 9/10

I finally decided to check out this movie The Menu because a few people I know had seen it and talked about how good it was. They did not spoil it for me which I very much appreciated so I'm going to do the same thing. I went into this movie not knowing anything about it except one of the main actors and that's about it. The basic premise is that about a dozen people pay a lot of money to have dinner on this island where there is a world-famous chef. Once they get there they're served multiple course meals that look extremely pretty and fancy but out of all of them there was only one that I thought I would try. This always happens whenever I see anything very fancy being made. It doesn't look appetizing to me and I know I do not have the pallet or food language to describe what I like about anything that I eat. So at first you're just watching these different people and these different couples talking about themselves mostly and about their lives and then they're interrupted by the chef who explains a small story about each dish and then it continues to get weirder and weirder after every single course until all hell breaks loose. This was a really good movie. I started watching it while I was ironing and then slowly started ironing less and less until I was just very much into this. You can check this out on HBO Max. It's a good quick watch that is in a 3-hour movie doesn't need a sequel and has a satisfying ending.

Ralph Fiennes as Chef Slowik

Anya Taylor-Joy as Margot

Nicholas Hoult as Tyler

Hong Chau as Elsa

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The Review: House Of The Dragon/Pale Blue Eye/Wednesday/The Imperfects

House Of The Dragon 10/10

This is me catching up on the whole lot of different things at once. The first one is going to be House of the Dragon. I watched this show as it debuted and watched every single episode as they came out and absolutely loved it. This takes place a couple of hundred years before the Game of Thrones so you don't really need to have watch that show to enjoy this one. It does help with random little Easter eggs like when you hear a certain name or something and you recall it from Game of Thrones. The basic story of this without getting way too deep into it is that there's a princess and her father and mother who are the king and queen are having trouble giving birth to an heir that is a boy and when they finally do the child ends up dying along with the mother. The princess is supposed to be made the leader eventually but nobody wants to listen to women so she ends up hooking up with her uncle eventually which is really weird and creepy but after listening to so many episodes of that Noble Blood podcast was totes norms back in the day. This show had a really cool story, really good casting even though it was kind of weird to get used to this young girl suddenly being a grown woman. I enjoyed every single episode of this and none were wasted and could have easily watched twice as many if they had made them. Is this show bloody and violent? Yes, very much so. But I would not expect anything less from HBO or the creator of the series of books. This also filled the fantasy whole that was left by certain shows either not coming back or not being made. Every year I need at least one show with some kind of magic or science fiction or something and can't sit around watching nothing but detective stuff all the time.

The Review: Glass Onion

Glass Onion 9/10

I really liked this damn movie. I was very surprised to see that it was already available to watch on Netflix because I thought I was going to have to wait a month or two to finally check out Glass Onion. I really liked Knives Out and didn't have super high hopes that this would be as close to as good as that movie was but I was very surprised. What I'm not surprised by is the fact that I am a terrible detective and that if I was ever in a situation where I had to solve a mystery I would fail. This rich jerk named Miles invites a bunch of his different friends and people he's known for years to his island for a murder mystery game but not before making them solve this crazy ass puzzle just to get the invitation. One of the friends named Andi ends up just smashing it open and heading to the island.

The Review: Bullet Train

Bullet Train 1/10

You ever see a preview for a movie or look at the cast listing and think holy crap this movie might be bad but it'll be kind of cool in a bad way? That was not this movie. This movie was straight up trash. There have been a lot of films that have had a large cast and a crazy insane storyline and fights but have done it so much better. Everyone has been comparing this to Smokin' Aces which is an insult since that movie is actually really cool. I got absolutely zero joy out of watching this and was barely able to make it through. I'm not going to waste my time listing the cast of this film because it is actually embarrassing that so many really good actors and actresses wasted their own time being in this. I'm also not going to waste my time saying what this is about. This was just trash and barely deserves a 1 out of 10 but it gets that score because I finished it.

The Review: The Invitation

The Invitation 7/10

So L. and I watch this movie called The Invitation. All I knew about this movie from the trailer was at this girl gets invited to go overseas and then weird things start happening in the house that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge on this film. Now it's about this girl named Evie who works freelancing at a catering place and getting felt up by pervy men and somebody leaves a gift bag where you can do DNA test. She takes it and is contacted by a cousin that's in England somewhere. Her best friend tells her that she shouldn't go and she's going to end up killed or something but she doesn't have any other family so she decides that she's going to make the trip. Now at the beginning of the film we saw some woman end up hanging herself with a piano wire trying to get away from everybody in the house and now Evie starts seeing weird visions and having dreams about this woman. There's also some maids that are working for this gathering of all these different people and they all start getting picked off one by one by some creepy ass monster this giant manner is owned by this guy named Walter who takes a liking the Evie.

The Review: Paper Girls

Paper Girls 8/10

There was this show called Paper Girls that Miss Jackie told me about. When I read the premise I did not think that I would be even kind of interested in this but after the first episode I knew I was going to plow through this show. It came out in July of last year on Amazon but this show got absolutely no advertisement. I have seen a lot of reviews compare it to Stranger Things even though this show came out and comic book form before stranger things did but nobody likes to do any kind of research. Plus the guys who created Stranger Things have already been accused of stealing the entire shows idea. I am rambling so let me get to the main part of this review.

The Review: Black Adam

Black Adam 3/10

So I finally got around to watching the Black Adam movie. I don't have all that much to say about it because I didn't hate it but I can't say that I enjoyed it. It starts off with a backstory that turns out to sort of not be his own and then we're introduced to a bunch of brand new characters who aren't all that interesting. We have Hawkman who is supposed to be really good friends with Dr Fate because they told me so and when one of them dies it's supposed to be emotional but I felt absolutely nothing. There's also a dude that grows really tall who isn't interesting at all and the girl who can make wind. None of these people can beat Black Adam and it's kind of pathetic. All of the human characters are unrelatable and uninteresting and of course they have a young child that provides pure annoyance. The only thing I can truly say I liked about this movie was the portrayal of Black Adam. He looked just like the character and was cool himself but just surrounded by a lot of people that I did not care about whatsoever. The pacing of this film was all over the place. There would be a crazy action scene and then it would just slam on the brakes for uninteresting exposition. After I was done watching I looked up who wrote and directed this movie and that answered any question I had as to why I did not like this. I would like to see this character again but in a movie with an interesting villain and a far better story.

Dwayne Johnson as Teth-Adam/Black Adam

Aldis Hodge as Carter Hall/Hawkman

Sarah Shahi as Adrianna Tomaz

Marwan Kenzari as Ishmael Gregor

Quintessa Swindell as Maxine Hunkel/Cyclone

Bodhi Sabongui as Amon Tomaz

Pierce Brosnan as Kent Nelson/Doctor Fate

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The Review: American Horror Story NYC

American Horror Story NYC 9/10

This crazy ass season had everything. A psychotic leather man, dying deer, an epidemic, drug use, rough sex, and torture thrown in just a spice things up. This last season of American Horror Story: NYC seems to have some people upset and other people very happy with how the season turned out. I'm one of the people that's very happy with this season because the last few seasons have built up these huge hopes and then the payoff has been trash. I was hoping that this season wouldn't be too crammed with too much information and killers because at a certain point it seemed like the show was beginning to lose its way. Thankfully even after the death of one of the killers the show stayed interesting and I was excited to watch it every single week. L. had already started the season and I jumped in and when she would finish an episode I try to quickly watch it to catch up. This season benefited from having a lot of interesting characters and not one or two that I gave a damn about. This is going to be full of spoilers so be warned and you shouldn't be looking up stuff on the internet about shows you haven't watched yet anyway.

The Review: A New Orleans Noel

 

A New Orleans Noel 1/10

L. and I watched this dry ass movie called A New Orleans Noel. This was a Hallmark or maybe a Lifetime movie about this woman who goes to New Orleans to help decorate a famous praline chefs home. She didn't know it but a guy that she knew back in college that she liked but seems like she hates name Anthony is also tasked with designing the home because its his grandmothers. Of course they do not agree with each other's ideas and everyone in the family wants them to get together even though they haven't seen each other since college and she just needles him at every opportunity she gets. I straight up found her annoying. Anthony reveals that he likes Grace for god knows what reason because it can't be the outfits that she was wearing and is not sure how to tell her. Grace doesn't seem to know how to slow down or settle down after her parents died and doesn't want to get attached to anyone. The family tries to welcome her in and she leaves during prayer like a rude son of a bitch. I really did not enjoy this movie and gave it a 1/ 10 because we actually finished it. I know that the two main stars of this are married in real life so it's very strange that they seem to be no chemistry between the two of them in this film. And of course it ends with her giving up her career that would force her to live somewhere else so she can stay with this dude that she hasn't seen in years. All of these movies end this way. A successful woman will easily drop her entire life if you got a nice fade and you're kind of cute.

Keshia Knight Pulliam as Grace Hill

Brad James as Anthony Brown

Patti LaBelle as Loretta Brown

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The Review: A Family Christmas Gift/The Christmas Clapback

A Family Christmas Gift 6/10

This past weekend L. and I watch some holiday movies. Four of them to be exact. The first one we watched was called A Family Christmas Gift. This was a Hallmark movie so there was not all of the drama that I was expecting from a typical Christmas movie involving black people. This is not a Thanksgiving With The Carter 2 situation where you get lost in the woods and attacked by a bear or what appears to be a man and a very cheap bear costume with the help of marijuana and two black people named Ashford and Simpson. I'm not going to get into that right now.

The Review: Interview With The Vampire

Interview With The Vampire 10/10

I have to admit that when I first heard from L. that Interview with the Vampire was going to be a new series with a Black man playing Louis I was very hesitant to even try watching it. By the end of the first episode I was addicted to this show. Just like with Wonder Years reboot showing that time period through the eyes of a Black child this series having it set in the time period that it's set in and it being in New Orleans it changed so much about the story that they could not have had a white actor the way they had with Brad Pitt in the film. Looking back at recaps of the season there's so much stuff that happened but it did not feel rushed.