Frivolous Flicks 2

Vampire Academy Series 0/10

A couple of weeks ago I was looking through Peacock and saw this series. I thought it was the movie but saw that there was an entire ass series based off the book series. I saw the movie years ago and it was the first film I ever gave a 0/10 to. Well, I'm not breaking any trends because after watching just one episode of this shit I had to do the same. Now, its been years since I read these books but I know the very basics of the story still. While watching just the first few minutes of this I was so confused by what was taking place. I had to look up the story to make sure I wasn't going crazy and misremembering shit. I was not. This basically took the title of the books and characters names and said “Okay, now let's just do stuff!” The story was impossible to follow considering with so many books there is a large mythology. The acting was like some old 90's CW (before it was known as CW) shit. It was filmed so dark I know it was intentional to hide how bad the fight choreography was. I just wondered to myself “Who is this for? Not fans of the books or movie.” Surely there must have been some kind of tax write off or something to do this. Before the episode was even complete I knew that I was done and had no plans to even try to hate watch myself through this.

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Theater Whore: Vampire Academy

Vampire Academy 0/10

To me there's no such thing as too many of one type of film. At one time people said there were too many zombie films, superhero films, and now vampire ones. I say there can be too many bad ones. Vampire Academy is one such film. Saying this movie is bad is an insult to the word “bad.” This movie is ass. Its bullshit. Its garbage or if you wanna sound fancy, gahr-baj. I also need to state that unlike Divergent, I have read I believe four of the six books this movie is allegedly based off of and even considering that fact this movie is such utter bullshit that I don't even need to point out how much better the book is. This is just a bad movie.

A half human half vampire chick named Rose Hathaway played by Zoey Deutch and her bodyguard Lissa Dragomir played by Lucy Fry have run away from school and living on their own with Rose feeding off of Lissa when she needs to since she is a peaceful vampire. The not peaceful ones are called Strigoi and they live forever after killing someone by drinking blood. So you can live a regular life but need blood but if you kill doing it you're a bad guy. Hmm. Anyhoot, these two fuck ups get dragged back to the academy to dick around.