Vampire Academy 0/10
To me
there's no such thing as too many of one type of film. At one time
people said there were too many zombie films, superhero films, and
now vampire ones. I say there can be too many bad ones. Vampire
Academy is one such film. Saying this movie is bad is an insult to
the word “bad.” This movie is ass. Its bullshit. Its garbage or
if you wanna sound fancy, gahr-baj. I also need to state that unlike
Divergent, I have read I believe four of the six books this movie is
allegedly based off of and even considering that fact this movie is
such utter bullshit that I don't even need to point out how much
better the book is. This is just a bad movie.
A half
human half vampire chick named Rose Hathaway played by Zoey Deutch
and her bodyguard Lissa Dragomir played by Lucy Fry have run away
from school and living on their own with Rose feeding off of Lissa
when she needs to since she is a peaceful vampire. The not peaceful
ones are called Strigoi and they live forever after killing someone
by drinking blood. So you can live a regular life but need blood but
if you kill doing it you're a bad guy. Hmm. Anyhoot, these two fuck
ups get dragged back to the academy to dick around.
There
is a romance between Lissa and her trainer Dimitri Belikov played by
Danila Kozlovsky. In the books (I know I thought I wasn't gonna
compare the books to this shit but I kinda have to) their
relationship starts off very one-sided but in this the teacher teases
that he is into her as well. Its kinda gross.
Later more bullshit happens and it just all falls apart. This movie had shitty directing, shitty music, shitty writing, shitty special effects, shitty acting, and worse of all shitty fight choreography. I say that because this had a lot of fights that looked horrible. This film got yanked out of theaters quickly. So quickly I didn't even know it had been out already. I remember a while back when I saw the trailer and just gasped at how bad it looked.
Please,
if you have the chance to see this don't. Its not so bad its good. It
is just plain bad and whoever had a hand in this being made should be
shamed of themselves. Not just because they did not possess the
ability to at the very least copy what was written and attempt to
make a film of it, but because every part of this movie screams “Why
try?”
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| "Because we wants all the monies...?" |
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