Thursday, April 17, 2014

Spoiler Alert: Game Of Thrones "The Lion And The Rose" Episode

Oh, Game Of Thrones. You're so...deadly. As you can tell from the name of these series of blogs this will contain spoilers for specific episodes of shows that I am writing about. I have written about GOT more times than I remembered. I have written about The Faceless Man. How this show is full of assholes. How Cersei Lannister was one of the most evil people on TV. This is a damn good show full of a lot of people that look similar (big, White, bearded) so it took close to two seasons of watching before I could start trying to call people by their names. Still I tend to say things like “The one with the beard that is never around” or “The one with the beard that is all about that rape.”

As the show continues you start to like new characters or older ones someone seem less evil than they previously were. But there are some people that are just irredeemable. King Joffrey is the definition of irredeemable. This kid has been consistent in his dickery ever since he first stepped on screen. Some of the shitty things he's done include having the head of the girl he was going to marry father chopped off in front of her after acting as if he'd set him free. During a riot where he had cow shit thrown at him he wanted everyone executed and left his future wife unprotected as he ran away. After being told by his mother that he couldn't hit his future wife he found out it was cool for his men to. During her wedding (not to him because fuck honor!) he played the role of her father walking her down the aisle. Yes. He is the one that had her father beheaded!


Here comes the spoilers.

I have read some people that have the nerve to say they felt bad for him after he died. There is this thing that used to happen in real life but now permeates the internets where people go with the opposite point of view to get attention. You can't tell me you feel bad for him given the list of things I just mentioned. I didn't even bring up the torture of prostitutes he did! Every time he was on screen he did something that made me want to scissor kick him. In this episode alone he did enough to at the very least get suplexed through a flaming table.

During Joffrey's wedding...I hate his name. Just had to point that out. So during his wedding he is in full asshole mode. He is trying to embarrass as many people as possible. He is a child with way too much power and no one to check his punk ass. Time to cut the cake full of birds? Slam your new sword as hard as possible killing half the birds! Pour wine on your uncle's head and force him to be your cup bearer. Insult your former possible bride by reenacting his beheading. I was getting mad that no one was punching him.

So as he is getting drunk just pounding down goblets of wine suddenly he starts choking. I was like “No way...” and then he clutched his throat. “No way!” His mother panics and rushes to him as blood comes out of his nose. “No fucking way!” His eyes are red, he is looking eight kinds of crazy as he chokes to death. At this point I am full on Daniel Bryan “Yes!” chanting. Oh, I was so happy. 

So long, dickbutt.

It sucks that his uncle Tyrion is being blamed for it. I was talking to Cam about this and coming up with who may have poisoned this little creep. Cam thought his mom maybe and I thought Sansa. We'll see who is right eventually. As for anyone who thinks there aren't enough assholes to fill the void left by his must not being paying attention.

Click here for previous Spoiler Alert


Hoozle said...

Sansa doesn't have the ovaries to poison him. Cersei loves him despite the fact he's a fuckhead and she's scared of him. The question is, who would benefit from the chaos that will ensue?


I hate this kid like I've never hated a fictional character.

Dante said...

I read your comment on my older blog about him and cracked up laughing. I still think it will be Sansa. I do not like her but I think for whatever reason that she is the one that did it. I use the part where she handed Tyrion the goblet after it rolled under the table as her chance to off him somehow.