Well...fuck. You know that thing that used to happen more often in the early 2000's when a movie would have a shit ton of good actors in it but it would still be a terrible film? That's Thor: The Dark World. This movie had everything that angers me in action films. Humor when there doesn't need to be, random ass soldiers that are supposed to be so dangerous but are easily killed, and goddamn smoke monsters! I hate smoke monsters. No, you don't even understand. Let me talk about this hour and a half long TV show passing itself off as a movie.
It
starts off with a battle happening years and years ago where the bad
guys lose and hide something important. Not destroy it, hide it. This
ain't Christmas! Meanwhile in the present Tom Hiddleston as Loki is
being arrested for all the bullshit he did in The Avenger's and is
locked up. Meaning hidden. Again. This ain't Christmas! Kill this
fucker! In a few days he revealed that the gods were really real and
tried to bring aliens to Earth and destroy it. Fuck this guy. Natalie
Portman playing Dr. Jane Foster aka The Least Likely Doctor Since
Denise Richards In The World Is Not Enough is still on Earth looking
up mysterious shit and waiting for Thor to come back even though he's
been gone for two years and the last time he was on Earth he didn't
even come by to say hello.
