In continuing with this series of blogs about Who Is The Best? I was trying to find a character that has been played by multiple people and it hit me: The Punisher. I've seen every version of the films based off of the character and none of them have been great. One was okay but none great. The best Punisher related film to come out was a fan film that you can watch on Youtube called Dirty Laundry. It isn't long but its pretty damned amazing. Kinda like my...tongue.
Since there have been only three versions made film wise this won't be as long as my other posts. Honestly, you don't need to read much about this character. Former war vet, family gets killed, he goes crazy, kills people that do bad. He's like Batman if Batman lost his goddamn mind. Which has happened in various comics and realities. A crazy Batman is good for no one.
Dolph Lundgren as Frank Castle
I am having trouble recalling what he was like as Frank. But look at him. Can you picture this guy playing with his kids in the park? He looks like the kinda dad that would punch his son for dropping the ball. “Frank Castle is the city's most wanted, and most mysterious, vigilante, known as The Punisher. He has killed 125 people in the last 5 years. Castle is an ex-police officer, whose family was murdered in a mob hit. Living in the sewers and waging a one-man war against organized crime.” He just sounds like a crazy ass hobo or a Ninja Turtle. 125 people? That is a fuck-ton of people!
Insane.
He gets hit way more than someone who has killed 125 people should.
That is unless 122 of them were asleep when he did it. He has a good
look but its not Punisher to me. Its sociopath. Yes, I am aware that
Punisher is nuts. But this guy looks nuts! There's a difference. And
how can you call yourself Punisher and not have the damned skull on
your chest? You walk into a fight just holding a gun and wearing
black, you're just nuts. You walk into a fight holding a gun and
wearing a skull on your shirt, you're someone to be reckoned with.
This
guy is a nice dad from what you see with him and his family. His son
likes him. His wife is hot. His family gets slaughtered. All the
pieces are there. “At Castle's family reunion, gunmen including
Glass and John Saint, Bobby's identical twin, kill most of the
extended family. Castle and his father kill several of the attackers
before Castle's father is killed. Castle's wife and son try to escape
in a jeep, but Saint runs over them with a truck, killing them.
Castle, shot in the chest and blown off a pier in an explosion set by
Glass, survives and is nursed back to health by a local fisherman,
Candelaria.” His son hands him a shirt with a skull before he gets
killed which is just odd. I'd never think to give my father a shirt
like that. I have given him two packs of cigarettes for his birthday
one year. But I didn't get killed and he didn't stalk the streets as
The Smoker.
Too
nice! He is way too nice! There is a scene where he tortures a guy
with a damned popsicle. You don't believe me? Look!
Proof!!! |
Punisher
don't play games like this! He is one of the most brutal characters
ever created. But in this movie he cares about people and shows
feelings. No. You don't get to do that. And his main villain in this
that he has trouble killing is John Travolta. Come on! So while he
got the skull right, he kinda has the look right, and has great
weapons, he loses quite a bit of points by not seeming scary enough.
I think Travolta is scarier.
This
is how its done! Frank had a family at some point that we can assume
he loved but fuck all that. He is set to kill 24/7 and crime needs to
watch its sweet, virgin ass. “Frank Castle who by now has been the
Punisher for five years, assaults a party for mob boss Gaitano
Cesare. Castle infiltrates Russoti's hideout, and after a brief
firefight, Russoti is thrown into a glass-crushing machine that
leaves him hideously disfigured.” The villain is bullshit but
whatever.
This
guy is brutal as hell. In the first killing scene he kills more
people than either Punisher movie combined. And he looks like he's
been through some real shit. There is no Frank Castle. He is a
monster that does things far worse than the criminals he fights
against. And one of the guys he has to fight is the pedo that was
married to Courtney Stodden. If you were a bad guy and saw what he
did to your buddies, you'd shit yourself cross-eyed and kill
yourself. Though this movie had a shit plot and terrible acting it by
far was the closest thing to a Punisher movie close to the comic that
we'll ever get.
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