Sunday, December 10, 2017

The Review: Die Hard


Die Hard 9/10

Turns out I had not seen this movie in damn near 30 years. Die Hard is one of the movies where I would say I have seen it and could explain the basic plot but there are entire characters and plot points that I forgot about. John McClane played by Bruce Willis arrives in Los Angeles to meet up with his wife who he is kinda sorta estranged from. He likes working on the east coast and she is starting her life with their kids in LA. His limo driver named Argyle is chatty as hell but it works because it gives some insight to McClane's character. He gets to the Nakatomi building where there is a Christmas party happening and finds out his wife isn't even using his last name anymore. Burn!


The party is overrun by a bunch of crooks looking to get $640 million dollars in bonds. I don't even know what the fuck that means but these guys are efficient as hell. I kept pointing that out to Robes. They are led by Han Gruber played by Alan Rickman who is very calm which is way creepier than shouting shit at folks all the time. His henchmen are like that. Just a bunch of screaming in German. These guys know just who to kill, what systems to control, and how to handle the police. Except for one. Sgt. All Powell played by Reginald VelJohnson is stopped from buying a bunch of Twinkies and shit to investigate after McClane gets into a shouting match with dispatch. Just when Powell is about to leave a big ass body is tossed onto his vehicle.


McClane's wife has not told the robbers that John is her husband or what he does as he kills and mocks the bad guys as he continues to stay in contact with Powell. Meanwhile a coked up coworker of McClane's wife named Harry thinks he can handle this entire situation by selling out John. This dude is a sleazebag in that 80's style that thankfully doesn't exist anymore. They have evolved. Of course he gets his head blown off because that is how you handle those guys. In movies these days those type of guys are the stars for whatever reason.


For all the explosions McClane is surviving, mocking Gruber, and ineffective LAPD the plan is going great. The only reason Gruber didn't get away with all those sweet, sweet bonds is because McClane is a psychopath and unpredictable. Oh, I almost forgot the reporter. When LAPD show up so do reporters and this one asshole finds out who McClane is and where his family lives and goes to their house to blackmail the housekeeper with immigration threats and interviews the children. Now Gruber knows who McClane is an his wife who is a hostage. Then the FBI show up and all hell breaks loose because they just want to blow shit up. An poor Argyle is in the lower level of the building this entire time...


This movie is cool. I kinda wanna re-watch the second one but recall it stinking but loving Die Hard With A Vengeance and not even touching the two that came after. I like to pretend they don't exist. There is just two Die Hard movies even though one wasn't supposed to be one. Don't care.

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