Geostorm
2/10
I
watched the movie Geostorm after laughing at the trailer a while ago.
It is about someone using satellites that are in space to control our
weather because we fucked the planet up and turning them into a
weapon. Gerard Butler who designed the system called Dutch Boy for
reasons, is told by his brother to go up there and fix that shit. His
daughter who is a smart ass is upset and he promises not to die. This
movie is pretty much watching a story try to happen while watching
deserts turn to ice and beaches get jacked up. Seriously, there is a
scene in Brazil where this hot woman runs from the now frozen beach,
exploding buildings, and a plane that falls out of the sky. She lives
because she is hot.
By the
time this movie ends and this massive cover up is revealed (which is
enough to have been its own movie) it has become something a Bond
villain would come up with. The effects in this were fine for what
they are. Just a bunch of shit exploding followed by people acting
dramatic but not quite dramatic enough for the situation. I mean, the
fucking world was being cooked and frozen by lasers but people still
had time to make bad jokes. Not like “Shit is bad and I need to
joke to ease the pain” kinda jokes. Just bad writing jokes. Don't
see this movie. It ain't even fun bad.
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