Theater Whore: Geostorm

Geostorm 2/10

I watched the movie Geostorm after laughing at the trailer a while ago. It is about someone using satellites that are in space to control our weather because we fucked the planet up and turning them into a weapon. Gerard Butler who designed the system called Dutch Boy for reasons, is told by his brother to go up there and fix that shit. His daughter who is a smart ass is upset and he promises not to die. This movie is pretty much watching a story try to happen while watching deserts turn to ice and beaches get jacked up. Seriously, there is a scene in Brazil where this hot woman runs from the now frozen beach, exploding buildings, and a plane that falls out of the sky. She lives because she is hot.

The Review: London Has Fallen

London Has Fallen 3/10

I read my review again for the movie Olympus Has Fallen from a few years back and apparently I really enjoyed it. I just watched London Has Fallen tonight and can not say the same thing. This movie is about terrorists getting revenge and the reason why seems amazingly justified. The bad guy is at his daughters wedding and it gets bombed killing a bunch of folks but not him. He decides to attack all these word leaders including the president Benjamin Asher again played by Aaron Eckhart. Of course there to protect him is Mike Banning played by Gerard Butler. Instead of ignoring his wife like in the first film she is pregnant so that means there is one more dangerous mission.

Theater Whore: Olympus Has Fallen

Its officially the start of summer blockbuster movies where shit explodes and people get shot and I make strange faces because I’m too excited which is why I prefer hitting it from the back! I’m full of shame! Hello. I have been dying to see a damned movie for over a month now that the Academy Awards are done and most movie makers are like “I don’t give a fuck just put something out there.” I saw Olympus Has Fallen after laughing at how cheesy it was. Then I saw that Antoine Fuqua did it and he did Training Day, Tears Of The Sun, King Arthur, and Brooklyn’s Finest and I loved those movies. 

This stars Gerard Butler as Mike Banning, a former Army Ranger that is the head of President Detail. Its his job to protect the President Benjamin Asher played by Aaron Eckhart and the First Lady played by Ashley Judd and their kid who is thankfully not used as a huge plot device in this movie. One night while heading to a dinner the president’s car goes over a bridge and Banning is able to save him but not the First Lady and she dies. He is removed from the detail and now works for the Treasury Department. He also ignores his wife a lot.