TV Slut: American Horror Story Season 3

This series American Horror Story manages to test the limits of fucked up things you think you've seen. I have seen foreign films like Rust & Bone where I said to my Camille “Great. Now I can't say that I haven't seen paraplegic sex.” Watching season three of American Horror Story: Coven I can also add zombie sex, bestiality, and ghost fucking to that list. Every season manages to top the previous in terms of messed up things you'll witness.

This season is about a coven of witches living in a boarding school for troubled girls called Miss Robichaux's Academy. The school is run by Cordelia Foxx played by Sarah Paulson. Her mother is the supreme, head witch named Fiona Goode played by Jessica Lange. To be the supreme you have to perform the Seven Wonders which is a series of powers. The problem is when a new girl starts to gain more powers the supreme starts to get weaker. Fiona already has cancer which is messing with her and whoever this new powerful girl is is just making her weaker.

Theater Whore: Olympus Has Fallen

Its officially the start of summer blockbuster movies where shit explodes and people get shot and I make strange faces because I’m too excited which is why I prefer hitting it from the back! I’m full of shame! Hello. I have been dying to see a damned movie for over a month now that the Academy Awards are done and most movie makers are like “I don’t give a fuck just put something out there.” I saw Olympus Has Fallen after laughing at how cheesy it was. Then I saw that Antoine Fuqua did it and he did Training Day, Tears Of The Sun, King Arthur, and Brooklyn’s Finest and I loved those movies. 

This stars Gerard Butler as Mike Banning, a former Army Ranger that is the head of President Detail. Its his job to protect the President Benjamin Asher played by Aaron Eckhart and the First Lady played by Ashley Judd and their kid who is thankfully not used as a huge plot device in this movie. One night while heading to a dinner the president’s car goes over a bridge and Banning is able to save him but not the First Lady and she dies. He is removed from the detail and now works for the Treasury Department. He also ignores his wife a lot. 

Fap Files: Older Women

Ever since I was a young boy I had a thing for older women. If you are between the age of 38 and 50 chances are we would get along great. It never helped that I never went through a “Ew, girls!” phase. My poor teacher Ms. Stewart didn’t stand a chance with my pervy little ass. I was recently watching a movie and saw an actress and said “I’d totally wreck her old ass.” And that inspired this weeks Fap File. Also, I am fully aware that I have not posted enough of these this year so it will now be a weekly thing to keep me on track. For a few weeks.