Monday, December 5, 2016

Theater Whore: Nocturnal Animals


Nocturnal Animals 1/10

A couple of nights ago Cam asked if I wanted to see a movie. Of course I wanted to so we went to the Arclight and imagine my shock when I saw how packed the theater was when we were choosing seats. All of the seats are good so we got them and I have to say my body was not ready for this shit fest that we were about to experience. Nocturnal Animals will go down as one of the worse movies I have ever seen in a theater next to Tomb Raider and Mr. Bean. The only thing that made it tolerable was trying not to laugh at things that should have been artistic and Cam's reaction to the most random things that made her crack up with laughter.

This movie which I will not bother naming who starred in is like two movies in one where each will just leave you confused as hell. A woman that cheated on a guy gets an early copy of his book. The book is the second part of the movie. The first part is this miserable woman in a miserable marriage that has a cheating husband. The story is about a father that does not do enough to stop the killers of his family and his tale of revenge. Each of these ends stupidly.

We watched the video after the movie and I got the distinct feeling that I was being told by Tom Ford that I wasn't watching the movie properly and that if I didn't get it I was not smart. Might just be me. The first scene of the movie is a five minute sequence where very fat women are dancing butt booty ass naked in slow motion. I was pushing myself so far back in my seat I could hear it cracking. It was horrifying. If this had been marketed as a comedy I would have given it a 8/10.

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