Thursday, September 28, 2017

The Review: The Hunt For Red October, Elvis & Nixon, The Ghost And The Darkness

The Hunt For Red October 8/10



Over the last few days I have been watching a lot of movies. The first was The Hunt For Red October. I was in the same room this was playing when I was younger in school but paid zero attention to it. All I knew was that Sean Connery was in it. Imagine my surprise and joy while watching this with J-Ro and finding out that he was speaking with a Russian accent and sometimes in Russian. That shit was hilarious! This movie was not what I assumed it was about. This dude came across as this crazy ass captain of a submarine but had an amazing plan that should not have worked if not for the help and understanding of a young Alec Baldwin who owned all of the chest hair. Like, all of it. I said while watching that he had more hair on his chest than my entire body. Then it was pointed out that men with a lot of body hair had a lot of testosterone. I then looked at my hairless arms and continued watching the movie. If you haven't seen this, all three of you, check this out.

Elvis & Nixon 5/10


I finally watched this movie Elvis & Nixon on Amazon today. I've been meaning to watch this for a while. This one was disappointing. I mean, I really wanted to like this and it should have been good considering the cast but there was this whole extra story added that I didn't like. On one side you got Elvis wanting to meet with Nixon to get a badge so he could work for the government stopping hippies and people wanting the country to fall apart. On the other side you got one of Elvis' friends and his trouble with not wanting the rock and roll lifestyle and wanting to settle down with his lady. His story is boring. Elvis and Nixon are not.


It took a minute to not see Michael Shannon as Elvis and Kevin Spacey as Nixon. Shannon looks nothing like Elvis but plays him so mellow and not over the top that it worked. And Spacey looks nothing like Nixon but his mannerisms and attitude made it work. I would say watch this but skip all the parts when you see Johnny Knoxville or the other guy.

The Ghost And The Darkness 6/10


I have never seen this movie but for some reason thought I did. The Ghost In The Darkness aka Why Dante Will Never Visit Africa is about Val Kilmer going to supervise the building of a bridge in Africa. He wants it done before his wife gives birth but some lion is eating Black people like hotcakes. He kills a lion and everybody is all happy because now they can get back to work. Not so fast, Africa! Turns out there is not just another lion, but two lions! They call them The Ghost and The Darkness which would be the name of my tag team if I wrestled. Kilmer's boss shows up all mad, Kilmer is upset, everyone is leaving the job site. Its chaos. Until Michael Douglas shows up! I forgot he was even in this he shows up so late. His character doesn't even fit but here he is.


Douglas shows up with the Africans that Africans are afraid of. The ones with the red dyed hair, tall, and like to bounce and yip loudly. Yeah. Them. Even they end up leaving after confronting these lions that know how to spot traps and everything. These fucking lions are magicians. I loved my ability to spot which Black person was gonna die even though there were so many. Or Africans. You know what I mean. This movie was good but Douglas kinda shit all over it with his weird character.

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