Wednesday, August 19, 2020

The Review: Spenser Confidential



Spenser Confidential 6/10

This wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Spenser Confidential is on Netflix and based on the old series that I didn't watch which was based on a book I didn't know existed. This is pretty much The Big Hit 22 years later. I'm not sure if reviewers are shitting on it because of the star or actually didn't watch it which is a for real ass thing that some people who call themselves critics do. I ain't a critic. I am a professional bitcher. This movie ain't bad. The trailer was bad. The posters are bad. The movie isn't. Well, the music is but that's just a Netflix thing. Their series have good music but the movies stank when it comes to song choices. I did find it funny that this movie takes place in Boston and everyone sounds like it except Wahlberg and all I know about him is he is from there.


So Spenser is in jail after beating the shit out of his captain, Boylan. He shows up at his house, yanks him out after seeing he beat the shit out of his own wife (not even why he went there), and whomps him. He plead guilty to all his sentences and ends up there for five years. Just before he is to be released he is jumped b some guys hired to kill him and he gets stabbed. He is released and is picked up by his friend Henry right before is ex named Cissy shows up. Apparently she is crazy. She acts like Christina Applegate's character from The Big Hit. Spenser doesn't want to be a cop anymore. He just wants to learn to drive a truck, live in Arizona, and chill with his dog, Pearl. Later that night Boylan is talking to his daughter when his car is rammed and he is beaten to death. The next day another cop is found dead and blamed for killing Boylan.


Spenser sees the report on the news and knows the cops are gonna come talk to him. This one named Driscoll who is evil in almost every movie he is in and turned out to be the traitor in The Big Hit. I think. It has been a while since I've seen that movie. Spenser meets his new roommate Hawk who is vegan, good with Pearl, and trains fighting. He has a dark past. Cissy shows up at the gym and she is terrible. Just a no good angry ass lady. She breaks up with him even though by all intents and purposes they were already. Spenser finds the dead cops wife who was framed and says he will help prove his innocence. The cops are all like “This is pretty open and shut.” They dirty! They all dirty!


The rest of the movie is unraveling more twists and dirty people in the city and gangs and big trucks and a dude getting his face dunked in foot water. I didn't hate this movie at all. The complaints I have are about the music at certain times. Songs I liked but used at bad times. They had one scene where Spenser curses and it is bleeped out. Not an actual bleep but the volume drops. This is Netflix. The fuck you doing that for? They could totally make a series out of this and I'd check it out. Eventually.

Mark Wahlberg as Spenser
Winston Duke as Hawk
Alan Arkin as Henry Cimoli
Iliza Shlesinger as Cissy Davis
James DuMont as “Tracksuit Charlie” Bentwood
Bokeem Woodbine as Driscoll
Marc Maron as Wayne Cosgrove
Austin Post as Squeeb
Michael Gaston as Captain Boylan

Click here for previous The Review.

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