Sunday, July 16, 2017

The Review: Black Mirror Season Two

Black Mirror Season Two 9/10

I swear, this show Black Mirror managed to jack me up every single episode. Just when I thought I knew where the story was going I would not only be wrong, but wrong and left feeling like an asshole. There are some episodes in particular that made me feel stupid for feeling a certain way the entire episode until the last ten minutes. This season had three episodes just like the first as well as a bonus Christmas episode that I'll include. I am so glad these are all on Netflix. From talking to folks that are afraid to watch this show its because of that pig episode in the first season. Come on, people. That is the very first episode of the first season. They ain't all that bad. I mean, it was a crazy good episode but fucked up. There will be some spoilers, you babies.

Be Right Back

This episode starts off so regular that I believed that the slow was slipping from the start. This couple Martha and Ash played by Hayley Atwell and Domhall Gleeson are just moving into a new place and loving life. Well, she is more so because Ash is always on his phone. Like always. Its funny because to most people it probably didn't seem excessive at all. One night while returning the moving van he never returns and Martha starts to freak out. She finds out that he has died and while at his funeral this annoying fucking woman starts nagging him abut this new app that lets you talk to people that have died through texting. Its creepy as shit. 

It goes through all social media to gather how the person spoke. She is against it at first but then she discovers she is pregnant and breaks down and gets the app. At first she is hesitant about using it and then the program lets her know there is a speech feature. Now she can talk to him on the phone and takes him on hikes and talks about their baby that's coming. One day she drops her phone and freaks out thinking that she has destroyed the app but computer Ash lets her know everything is fine and that for some more money there is another step to the program she can get. Its expensive but she is like “fuck it” and buys it. Oh, you don't even know how skeeved out I was by this extra process. This episode made me wonder if I would ever try something like this. Maybe the first step but not the second and for sure not the third. Fuck that third one.

White Bear

This episode made me realize that I shouldn't watch this show at work. This woman played by Lenora Crichlow wakes up in a house in a chair with her wrists bandaged and this weird logo on every screen in the place. She sees a picture of her and a guy and a school photo of this little girl that appears to be her daughter. Full disclosure, I am in love with Crichlow's face. She looks like a kitty cat and I like women that look like kitty cats. She gets outside all confused and people are watching her from windows filming her with their phones. 

She walks up to people and they back away from her while filming and wont speak to her. This guy pulls up and starts shooting at her and this couple she stumbles across at a gas station. The the guy in the mask shoots the dude and his girlfriend named Jem escapes with this woman. The woman says that the phones have made people act either violent and crazy or just film people for hits and views and she and her now dead dude were planning on shutting down the towers. On the road they are picked up by a dude in a white van which as we all know is automatically an issue. He ends up taking them hostage and tying the mystery woman to a tree bent over in a forest full of dead folks. Every starts filming until Jem who has escaped returns and they shoot the guy and leave. They make it to the power station and everything you thought you knew was wrong. A coworker was watching me watch this and waiting for my reaction to how this episode ended. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!! I loved this episode even though it was ultra mega fucked up.

The Waldo Moment

This was a more toned down episode which I had no problem with after those crazy ass couple before it. A guy named Jamie played by Daniel Rigby is a former comedian (meaning failed) that does the puppeteer work for an animated bear named Waldo. Waldo just talks mad shit to people in interviews. One day it is proposed that he goes after a politician and it goes so well that he begins to travel and harass the guy during live events in a van. Goddamn vans, man. Jamie does not like being Waldo all that much and is pretty miserable when it becomes more popular. 

He ends up meeting this lady that is running for office as well and lets her know that he plays Waldo. Her boss finds out and tells her to stay away from him. Waldo becomes so popular that producers want him to run for office. This dude is so against the idea until he is reminded that while he plays Waldo that anyone can do the voice and control the puppet. This episode was honked up but not fucked up and I liked it for the way it showed that anyone can run for office. If you don't believe that look at who the president of our country is right now. Shit, The Terminator was governor here. A blue, cartoon bear is not too far off.

White Christmas

This one is told in three short tales that all tie together in the end. These two dudes Matt and Joe are plated by Jon Hamm and Rafe Spall are together in a cabin in the middle of nowhere doing work. Not sure what the work is but Joe seems miserable. He finds Matt in the kitchen decorating for the holidays and cooking a meal for the two of them. Matt says they have been working together for years and Joe never talks to him. Matt decides to tell Joe how he got to be at this place. He talks about how he worked for a program where he would guide guys through dates by seeing through their eyes and talking to them. He also has other guys watching with him giving him things to say to the guy. It seems to be going well until he meets with this woman and everything seems to be going fine until they end up back at her place and before they get busy she poisons his ass along with herself. She heard him talking to the program thinking he was talking to himself. She thinks he is crazy like her and thinks she is helping him. Matt is like “Burn everything!” His wife sees him destroying shit and he explains what happens. She ends up blocking him.

Its fucking nuts. When you block someone it is literal. Since everyone from birth has these implants put in when someone is blocked their voices are just muffled sound and they look like the outline of TV static. Its so fucked up. In another story this lady is having an operation and it seems like she is conscious while its going on until you see her being placed inside of this egg looking device. She is screaming to be released or anything until she sees Matt looking at her. Her shows her that she is part of a program called “cookies” and that her real self, Greta played by Oona Chaplin, is sleeping in bed. The cookie's job is to take care of the house and schedule shit for Greta. Its a program that is pretty much just you in tiny form. Cookie like no. Matt gets annoyed and says since she won't do anything how about doing nothing for a few weeks. He sets this timer for him its been seconds but for Cookie its been weeks. She screams about there being nothing to do but still doesn't want to do her job so he sets it for almost a year. After the Cookie is ready to comply with anything and now exists making toast and planning Greta's day.

Back in the cabin Joe thinks this is fucked up and Matt says its just a computer program. Joe then begins to tell his story. He is dating a woman named Beth played by Janet Montgomery. He thinks everything is groovy between the two of them until on one date night after drinking a shit ton of wine and hanging with her coworkers while cleaning he finds a pregnancy test. He confronts Beth all happy but she's like “I'm not ready for this shit and I don't want this shit.” He flips on her and she ends up blocking him and you know what that means. Beth ends up leaving her job suddenly and living with her father. She later gives birth to a child but Joe cant see it because the program blocks the children of the person that blocked you as well! So he just goes by every Christmas and gets his stalk on.

One day on the news he sees a story about an accident and Beth's face pops up as a victim. He can see her now she is dead which means he can finally see his child who is like 4 years old now or something. So he hops in the car, heads to Beth's dads cabin, and is in for quite a surprise when he sees her. Its super jacked up. I wont spoil the rest of this episode because it caught me so off guard in so many ways that I'd love for you all to see what happens. This show has been consistently good and I'll be starting the third this week because it seems I cant hurt my brain enough.

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