The Review: Killers Anonymous

Killers Anonymous 0/10

This movie is up its own ass. It also made less than $100,000 worldwide. I normally don't mention how much movies made but something has to be said for a movie that has actors and actresses I know exist and made so little. Hell, it made no money in the US. None! How does a movie make no money? By being the piece of trash that Killers Anonymous is. I'm not sure what this movie was trying to imitate but it missed every one it was aiming for. This is about a group of killers that meet up and talk about wanting to kill again and their previous crimes. It attempts to be stylized at certain points but it looks so damned silly. It starts off badly and suddenly the credits start about eleven minutes in mixed in with animation. Its garbage.

The movie tries to have a plot that involves a botched assassination attempt and a new girl to the group being suspected of it. The actress that is new to the group is so bad. I need to see what else she has done. Be right back. Good lord. She's been in a lot of TV shows but this was her first movie. Ugh. I can't blame her really since I ain't seen her in shit else. But everything about this movie sucked. I'm surprised that this was completed and had the nerve to be over 80 minutes long. This is a 20 minute short tops. Gary Oldman is in this but always separated from everyone. Even in the image I used he is there but the woman is picturing him there.

There is no need to watch this. It isn't even hate-watchable. There is a scene where this little girl that was hiding in the walls (don't ask) is gonna get killed and it lasts like five fucking minutes with 70's cop series playing. Bongos and everything. The ending blood bath would be cool if I were 9 years old. They add all these weird fucking twists that don't work. Nothing works. This entire movie sucks. I'm tired of writing about it.

Tommy Flanagan as Markus

Rhyon Nicole Brown as Alice

Jessica Alba as Jade

Gary Oldman as The Man

MyAnna Buring as Joanna

Michael Socha as Leandro

Tim McInnerny as Calvin

Sam Hazeldine as Senator Kyle

Elizabeth Morris as Krystal

Elliot James Langridge as Ben

Isabelle Allen as Morgan

Suki Waterhouse as Violet

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